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A POEM FOR CHRISTMAS EVE
Come now children, gather near
you know that it's that time of year
when guiding stars adorn the sky
and reindeer are allowed to fly.
The recent harvest fills your tummy
with nuts and sweets and all things yummy.
Now is the best time to remember
if you've been good outside December.
'Cause Santa and his little band
have kept their tally close to hand.
All of those who haven't been so nice
soon will pay a heavy price.
Don't be dismayed ! I don't mean you,
your bouts of mischief have been few.
So you can still dream on of toys
and treats and other Christmas joys.
Be thankful you're inside and warm
this chilly night when snow flakes swarm
day dreaming of your heart's desire
while safe before a cheery fire.
We'll put the milk and cookies out
to help and keep ol' Santa stout,
and hang the stockings in a row
on mantle above the embers' glow.
So settle down on this cold night
before the yule tree's festive light.
Santa won't come 'til you're sleeping.
I see your eye lids downward creeping.
It's time wee folks head off to bed;
get tucked beneath a cozy spread,
and as I close the bedroom door
remember what Christmas is for.
Comments
Victorclaude
Fri, 2010-12-10 09:01
I really like the first
I really like the first stanza. Reindeer allowed to fly. What a great idea!
"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."
Unknown (at least to me)
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-10 17:45
poem
I am pleased that I stumbled upon a good one lol. Thanks for coming by Victor
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-10 17:45
poem
I am pleased that I stumbled upon a good one lol. Thanks for coming by Victor
Geezer
Fri, 2010-12-10 12:47
VERY GOOD...
stuff! I really like the rhythm of this one. The theme is one that always hits the spot at this time of the year.
It flowed smoothly from beginning to end, and your language use, right on. The title is a little worn maybe, but entirely apt. I wouldn't change a thing. Great job! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-10 17:47
poem
Thank you very much for reading and such a nice comment.......................scribbler
Psyve
Fri, 2010-12-10 13:50
Scribbler,
Enjoyed reading this one... doubtless that this is something your neices and /or nephews would love.
A naughty young rascal's heart will definitely skip a beat or two when he hears the lines:
A ray of hope however comes shining thru with the next few lines:
A gentle poem, written with tongue lightly in cheek. :-)
Good work.
Psyve
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-10 17:50
christmas
I wrote this specifficly to be read to young children. I am pleased you like it.............scribbler
Eduardo Cruz
Fri, 2010-12-10 19:01
A classic
I'll read this every year, great job.
please there's a couple of lines I'd like to point out
!st: (and safe in front of cheery fire
day dreaming of your heart's desire)
maybe more in the heart of it would be;
-while safe in front of a cheery fire
and day dreaming of your hearts desire-
2nd: (on mantle above the embers' glow)
-on the mantle above the embers' glow-
I loved it very much, this is a keeper my friend.
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
scribbler
Fri, 2010-12-10 19:24
eve
I will keep these suggestions in mind during inevitable edit ( I'm also trying to come up with another stanza lol ). I am glad you enjoyed this little attempt...................scribbler
wesley snow
Tue, 2011-12-06 21:30
Eduardo is right
This is classic sentimentality. It is precious.
Have a couple thoughts, though (don't I always?).
I'm not crazy about Eddie's suggestions as they both change the meter for the worse (sorry Eddie).
Maybe...
"while safely near a cheery fire."
and...
"on mantle o'er the ember's glow."
I know this last uses what some will call an "Old English" contraction (it's not), but I think this cleans up the meter. I don't think in this case the article is necessary and as to the contraction... well, it is something of a "ye old" Christmas poem. There are some other meter problems, but none so severe as to trip the reader.
A really sweet poem, guy.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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scribbler
Tue, 2011-12-06 22:18
Hi Wes
I am pleased you like this rerun. And I seldomhesitate to use the old contractions such as o'er ,ere,oft and such. I'll think over your suggestions and thanks for visiting............stan
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-12-07 13:14
Wes
hey don't be sorry about how you feel or your educated opinion. That was just my perception of it. It's a big world and we are all allowed our moment in the moment.
Respect to you!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-12-07 14:34
What a cheesy X-mas poem,
What a cheesy X-mas poem, reindeer flying in the no-fly zone,
Stanley's got a horn in his sock and Anna's bad to the bone,
darning her one and only holiday frock.
Now don't you feel badly? Just send money cheerfully. It's that
time of the year when we think of seventeen presents and the
stores are ho ho hoing all the way to the bank, now in the black,
but it ain't me jack.
I'm the grinch who stole christmas and put it in me sack.
Oh, my Stanley, me heart's growing bigger and bestest no way shall
she resteth, soon shall I bust, a little miss muppet who gathers no tuffet...
~A
Happy Holiday to All and to All a I don't give a damn. (Just kidding!)
scribbler
Wed, 2011-12-07 17:14
hi
Cheesy..............mmmmmm.....Christmas cheese balls (not That kind of balls lol). thanks for the visit........stan
weirdelf
Thu, 2012-01-05 00:13
Why does xmas reduce most people's IQs by 60 points?
and obliterate their sense of taste and style?
Crikey, mate, this is drivel, crappy rhyming, even worse meter, the only slightly redeeming feature is the line
and reindeer are allowed to fly
I won't be called grinch or scrooge, xmas is no excuse for bad poetry.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Wed, 2012-01-04 07:17
hi Jess
You need to say what you really mean lol. You know this poem's intended audience is young children not poetry critics. Considering how many people off site have asked for copies to read to their kids I'll consider this a success at its intended target. I appreciate your honest opinion but in this case I think I'll leave this as is........stan
weirdelf
Wed, 2012-01-04 07:27
not even fix the meter a bit?
the kids would like it even more
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Wed, 2012-01-04 07:51
lol
You know I tinkered with this before which brought it back to head of stream right before this Christmas. So don't be suprised if about Holiday time this year you see it again with a few more nudges. So I guess that will give me a bit of time to better my metric skills lol.............stan PS Still keep in mind it's supposed to sound like a beloved older relative talking to nieces, nephews, grandchildren or even his young children on Christmas eve trying to lull them to bed.So I don't intend the meter to ever be perfect throughout as that would decrease the convesational tone of this.....stan
weirdelf
Wed, 2012-01-04 14:25
fair enough
must admit I also like the lines
Don't be dismayed ! I don't mean you
your bouts of mischief have been few
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Wed, 2012-01-04 16:35
hello
Appreciate your input even though I sometimes don't use it .............stan
scribbler
Tue, 2012-12-04 22:23
Hi Ya'll
A few little tweaks on this oldie.....................stan
Ian.T
Wed, 2012-12-05 06:00
Stan
A piece to hold with an old tradition, you forgot to mention the
"humming insect" that crops up, or flies through these pieces
Where the old time religion is not sacrosanct, but now we can say as we feel..
Back to the woods with you young man..
Yours as always Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Wed, 2012-12-05 08:14
Hi Ian
Just an alternative for those bored with reciting "the night before Christmas" lol. Hope you enjoyed it...........stan
raj
Sat, 2014-12-20 12:47
Hi Stan
I dunno who pulled this one out and brought it back on stream, but for which i would have missed out on this one. As always you have come up with a lovely poem which captures the Christmas mood. You are always perfect when it comes to rhyme. I am not sure why you didn't find a more perfect rhyme for the concluding line, i.e. an alternate to "for". May be something like I have put in parenthesis? Not sure if you find it good enough
remember what Christmas is for[lore[ or [yore]
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Sun, 2015-01-04 20:18
hi raj
I did a tiny edit which brought this back up. As to the rhyme problem "for' and "door" Do rhyme but this might be a dialect thing.But at ant rate I'm pleased you like this......stan
weirdelf
Tue, 2015-12-22 07:49
This Christmas
I wish all you kind hearted deluded souls a Merry Christmas.
It is the Solstice, 4 days earlier that is the real meaning, before the Christians perverted it. I is the day (the 21st actually) of the Solstice the longest night and shortest day. It had and has real meaning in the real world, nothing to do with the evil fictional character Jesus that makes us feel originally sinned before his sacrifice redemption. That is nasty shit.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Tue, 2015-12-22 11:58
Hi Jess
I was already aware that the 25th was not the real day of his birth. And that the Christmas tree and mistletoe was borrowed from the Druids. But isn't it a good thing that both believers and non believers can set aside at least one day a year in which we treat our neighbors as we'd have them treat us?
Now......have you chosen your 3 poems to submit to the book committee yet? Time is coming near that you'll be contacted to send them in.
BTW Merry Solstice and a happy hang over you old fart lmao..........stan
weirdelf
Mon, 2018-12-24 07:20
Life is change
and I have changed since I posted that rather harsh comment, Stan.
Yes, peace and good will to all,
wishing you all a very happy Christmas.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Mon, 2018-12-24 10:29
Yes
You Have change a lot for the better. I hope you have a great Christmas day
lovedly
Tue, 2015-12-22 15:12
I have been watching dawns.... since many dawns
Christmas comes and goes
yet I wish all of you to know
in the context of
HUMAN AND HUMANE BROTHERHOOD
CHRISTMAS.... EID and DIVALI
INTERNATIONALLY WILL BE CELEBRATED EQUALLY ..
These three days seek
a feeling of simple and common
LOVE
from all
existing humanity
mostly from Jess,
as he's a POETIC guy
so very tall
I have been missing his pulling me up
now I have left wearing pullovers
coz there is no need
to be pulled any more
the dawns continue to dawn
and Stan
how I wish I am
in my later resojourn
as you say
am reborn
as Stan
as all here you alone adorn
maybe some will be like
me
someday!
Eumolpus
Mon, 2018-12-24 09:54
...
..
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Tue, 2017-12-19 22:39
I take it you voted Trump?
We didn't have a lot to choose from did we?
lovedly
Wed, 2017-12-20 02:00
gather round
perhaps ..............around
would better do
Merry Xmas to
US of A
all you
with Love from
Canada
too
scribbler
Mon, 2018-12-24 10:32
You
also loved
Eumolpus
Mon, 2018-12-24 09:55
.
.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Roscoe Lane
Mon, 2018-12-24 02:33
Excellent,
Excellent Christmas poem. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Mon, 2018-12-24 10:31
Hi Roscoe
I wrote this for children who might be weary of hearing The Night Before Christmas lol. Have a great Christmas and a happy hang over lol
Geezer
Mon, 2018-12-24 14:53
It just gets...
better every year! Hmmmmm… I guess that Jess has changed up some
He's not so bad; I see it now
At least he's not calling dumb
The poetry from yon ancient brow
LoL, just couldn't help myself! Have a Merry Christmas/Holiday whatever. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Mon, 2018-12-24 20:16
Hi Geez
I hope you get what you want for Christmas (instead of what you deserve lol)...........stan
scribbler
Tue, 2020-12-15 13:25
Hi Ted
Now I won't have to contrive an edit to bring this oldie back next Christmas lol.
Geezer
Tue, 2020-12-15 12:18
What again?...
Not really. I love seeing this each year and hope that you continue it as a yearly tradition. It is rather sad to see those that have departed from us; both willingly and not. How about we all aggravate Jess at least one more time; with a "Merry Christmas Jess, no matter where you are?" ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Tue, 2020-12-15 13:28
Hi Gee
I figure most of us who have been here a while had already read this oldie. I brought it back so new members can be aggravated too lol. As for Jess...........I think toward the unexpected end he had come a long way toward accepting others as they are
Geezer
Wed, 2020-12-16 08:10
I agree...
Jess did seem to mellow a bit, like a fine rum. Smoother with less bite. [I've been into the egg-nog again! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Tue, 2021-12-21 14:42
Another year...
that we have to admire this poem and aggravate old Jess! I hope that wherever he wound up, he is having a grand time!
To Jess, our friend and dearly departed
Who would laugh at us until he farted
A curmudgeon on this holiday
Too bad, Jess has gone away
A hug and a kiss for good old Jess
I'll slobber on him and make a great mess
Have a drink or two and smoke a joint
Hope he's somewhere he hears, so I make my point
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Tue, 2021-12-21 16:35
yes
I try to abuse ya'll with this poem each year about this time lol. And yep Jess should be having fun
Triskelion
Sat, 2021-12-25 11:22
So perfect
and sweet. This deserves to be a tradition. Merry Christmas!
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
scribbler
Sun, 2021-12-26 09:47
hello
Thank you
Lavender
Wed, 2022-12-21 20:24
A Poem For Christmas Eve
Hello, Stan,
Very endearing and fun - it seems it is now a classic! I enjoyed reading this, along with all the comments through the years. What a lovely Christmas tradition!
L
scribbler
Thu, 2022-12-22 00:21
thank you
I appreciate your taking the time to read this oldie written by an oldie lol
lovedly
Sat, 2022-12-24 13:15
KEEP OLDIE XMAS EVES
Since 2010 till 2022
do you know how many eves you've retrieved
all in heaven have also joined in
this EVE TODAY
ON A STORMY SNOWY DAY
Stan stand by next eve
we may try to come again
so in the mean time cheers you gain
hope for centuries hence
more kids will come thence
lol
all d best scrible on
scribbler
Sat, 2022-12-24 15:26
Hi loved
appreciate the Christmas Eve visit
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-12-24 16:01
hello Stan,
I much enjoyed reading through the "List" of members greetings. how I miss them. happy holidays dear Stan and greetings to Susan.
*love and hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Sun, 2022-12-25 07:01
Hi Cat
Yes there are a lot of ghosts on this thread who are all missed. May you and yours all have a merry Christmas