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VIRTUAL DOOR(Feb. Contest)
I press a key and instantly
with a flash of transformed sand
a screen's threshold opens up for me
to carry me from my homeland.
A chosen tap decides just where
my electron self will go today
and with whom my thoughts I'll share.
To which key should my finger stray?
For each one is a type of door
lined up like portals down a hall.
"Pick me!" they each seem to implore
with their beguiling silent call.
So at last I make my choice
and my destination flicks into view
where I bid greetings sans a voice
then pass through this door to be with you.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
I know that since I'm contest director I can't win but thought I'd post this anyway
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lovedly
Fri, 2015-02-13 23:55
and this is your most beautiful
doory poetry
you ought to win it
so let our doors not open
but be contained in yours
scribbler
Sat, 2015-02-14 08:52
hi lovedly
thanks for the kind words but since I'm the contest director it would be a conflict of interest for me to be declared winner......stan
lovedly
Sat, 2015-02-14 10:24
thanks
for dropping (s)
hahahaha
now I have a chance wow
nokros
Sat, 2015-02-14 01:04
hi scribbler
this is sensuously done... great job.
scribbler
Sat, 2015-02-14 08:54
greetings
Thank you. I hadn't thought of that aspect of this lol. I appreciate your dropping by.......stan