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The World on a String
Stop the earth and please
let me off.
There is a fine line
between lunacy and
brilliance;
between sanity, serenity and the
ability
to change the world.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2016-03-17 13:01
I'm not...
thinking about logic or consistency, because the title just makes me think of the Yo-Yo trick "Around the World", in which the Yo-Yo spins on the end of the string and you swing it around and around!
I can see how anyone would want to get off from that ride! LOL A fun read, ~ Gee.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
eightmenout
Thu, 2016-03-17 18:00
Thank you, sir. Appreciate
Thank you, sir. Appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to leave a note.
Scott
Rula
Thu, 2016-03-17 13:39
Scott
a great first line. I might think of using it one day, can I?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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eightmenout
Thu, 2016-03-17 17:58
Dearest Rula
Consider it yours
Scott