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The Land of the Free Shooters, Home of the Killers
Old Abraham Lincoln one fine sunny day
Stopped a bullet whilst watching a play
And all the people just wanted to know
How much his poor wife had enjoyed the show.
J F Kennedy with his insatiable fat phallus
Went for a drive one day in the city of Dallas;
But then Mr Oswald picked up a gun
And shot him stone dead for a nice bit of fun.
M L King climbed up onto his rostrum
To deliver a well-meaning tedious nostrum;
He told his brothers that he'd had a dream,
But a well-aimed bullet put paid to that scheme.
Murders and mayhem, what's in a name?
The victims are many, that's the name of the game;
The right to bear arms, so dear to some folk,
Is really no more than a sick, sick, sick joke
Bang! Bang! Bang! go the guns and the rifles;
School killings, street gunfights, American trifles
Send thousands each year to a premature rest;
Just remember the gun lobby really knows best.
This year's brought a new threat to us all
Slaying a general was such a dumb call;
Trump's violence lacks reason or cause
The numbskull's bent on a new wave of wars.
Comments
scribbler
Mon, 2020-01-06 15:35
Far,far more people are killed here each year by the lack of
driving skills exhibited by illegal aliens than by all firearms deaths combined. And far more lives are Saved by legal arms bearers then are taken by criminals. Just the other day in Texas a church member shot and killed a whacko inside the church who opened fire on the congregation for no apparent reason. So peddle your stupid ideas to somebody else. Now on to the poem minus its message. You were doing fine with the rhyme right up to the last stanza. Perhaps you broke rhyme in order to enhance the message? If not then a bit more thought could be given to come up wit a word or line which maintained the rhyme in the rest of the poem........stan
Edna Sweetlove
Mon, 2020-01-06 19:20
Oh fucking dear.
To say more people are killed in driving accidents in the USA than are killed by guns seems to me to be utterly stupid and totally irrelevant. And to compound this error by suggesting these accidents are caused by illegal immigrants is beyond belief. And even if such a crazily Trumpian claim were based in fact (which it's not) of what relevance would it be to the point of the poem that the USA is in love with violence and murder? I suppose it is quite likely that Americans generally are bad drivers - after all, some silly American cow drove on the wrong side of the road in England last year and killed an innocent English motor-cyclist. She then fled the country, pleading diplomatic immunity - diplomatic immunity for a spy's wife who kills young men? Fuck me, the special relationship looks like shit to me.
Let's see: I understand c.30,000 people are shot each year in the USA. Are you seriously suggesting that over 30,000 people are killed on American roads by illegal immigrants? Are you seriously suggesting that members of church congregations save 30,000 lives p.a. by shooting people? Fuck me, am I living in a mad world?
And your last point, that I "broke rhyme" in the final stanza...
"The New Year's brought a new threat to us all
Slaying a general was such a dumb call;
Trump's violence lacks reason or cause
The fat sod's bent on a new wave of wars."
As far as I can see 'all' rhymes with 'call' and 'cause' rhymes with 'wars'. If you meant metre rather than rhyme I might well plead guilty, but kindly suggest an improvement.. Is your comment here what passes for "critique"???
Best wishes for a prosperous New Year without too many more political murders,
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
scribbler
Tue, 2020-01-07 10:50
lol
Cause rhymes with war..........poor ol' thing
scribbler
Mon, 2020-01-06 15:36
BTW
I am sorry your hero was killed.....NOT!
Edna Sweetlove
Mon, 2020-01-06 19:25
No.
What a STUPID comment.
I am sickened you REVEL in murder. But then, that seems to be a grand ol' 'mercan tradition, from Wilkes onwards via Capone to Truman & Trump.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
Geezer
Mon, 2020-01-06 21:03
You did...
break rhyme with the cause [kaws] vs wars [warrrrrrs]. I don't care if the "Queen's English" has such a terrible accent, it doesn't fly here. ~ Geezer.
.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Edna Sweetlove
Mon, 2020-01-06 21:32
Total bollocks.
"Cause" rhymes with "wars", Full stop. If you think otherwise, you're dim. What sort of peasant accent do you speak with?
Happy New Year and stop with this crap. What sort of "critique" does whining like that got to do with anything?
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
Geezer
Mon, 2020-01-06 22:21
Yes...
full stop!
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Edna Sweetlove
Thu, 2020-01-09 11:43
Pronunciation
As a matter of interest, if in your opinion "cause" and "wars" don't rhyme, I would love to know how YOU pronounce these words. I pronounce "wars" as WORZ and "cause" as CORZ. Similarly "laws", "pours", "soars" and "whores" (that's 5 different spellings to yield "...ORZ").
If you had pointed out the dodgy rhyming of "phallus" and "Dallas", then I would have had to put my hands up, though.
Best wishes and no hard feelings at all, at all.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
scribbler
Tue, 2020-01-07 10:52
And I pronounce moron as edna
so I guess one can claim rhyme by mispronouncing things if they want.........poor ol' thing
Obadiah Grey
Tue, 2020-01-07 11:10
Is that what this site has
Is that what this site has come to?
ad hominem cheap pot shots!
Pack it in lads.
Edna Sweetlove
Thu, 2020-01-09 11:45
To Obadiah:
Sadly, it seems to be the case. However I have no intention of getting into an insult-swapping contest. Since I feel my intellect is superior to someone who calls someone else a moron because they disagree with them, I shall not stoop to conquer.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
Edna Sweetlove
Tue, 2020-01-07 18:13
To Scribbler:
How fucking witty. I have no intention of descending to the level you wish this chat to go to.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
scribbler
Tue, 2020-01-07 21:06
Descending to my level would be going in the wrong direction if
you are looking for me.
Edna Sweetlove
Thu, 2020-01-09 11:46
Hmmmm.
That's quite a good reply.
I suggest we stop being rude to each other.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
Pugilist
Sat, 2020-06-13 12:53
And I pronounce
This comment should be beneath you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan Moore
Edna Sweetlove
Sat, 2020-06-13 13:13
The positioning of the posting
... "And I pronounce...This comment should be beneath you" on the page makes it unclear to whom it is addressed. I'd be grateful if you could amend it to show the name of the person to whom you're speaking!
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars