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The Rapids (Tanka)
somewhere down the stream
bubbles of my liquid desire
become gentle waves
while sounds of ecstatic throes
vanish in the aftermath.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2020-08-19 08:16
dear raj,
a beautiful and exquisite moment to be cherished...I love your descriptive way with words. sublime.
*hugs, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Thu, 2020-08-27 12:34
Thanks dear Cat
appreciate your visit to my page and for your appreciative comment..
much love and hugs...
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Thu, 2020-08-27 12:36
HI Teddy
Thanks for your comment ...good to know your found it gorgeous..
.
raj (sublime_ocean)
Gracy
Wed, 2020-08-19 08:40
Lovely poem, raj. My thoughts
Lovely poem, raj. My thoughts are the same as Teddy's and Cat's. What is the name of this Eastern form?
Enjoyed, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
raj
Thu, 2020-08-27 12:39
Hi Gracy
thanks for taking time to read and comment...
Name of this eastern form is Tanka...i am copying below from google what Tanka form is
How to Write a Tanka Poem. Tanka poems follow a set of rules. They all have five lines and each line follows a pattern: the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, the third line has five syllables, the fourth line has seven syllables, and the fifth line has seven syllables.
hope the above helps clarify your query..
thanks again..
raj (sublime_ocean)
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-08-19 15:19
Raj
subtle is the one word that comes to me as I think I am coming away with aa difeent thought
Chrys
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raj
Thu, 2020-08-27 12:41
Hi Chrys
thanks for your comment...good to know you liked it,...you said "I am coming away with a different thought"...curious to know what it is...
be well..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Lavender
Thu, 2020-08-20 22:38
The Rapids
Hi, raj,
I think Chrys and I are possibly interpreting this the same way. For me, this is subtle - and almost perfect in its energy. Very nice.
Thank you!
L
scribbler
Mon, 2020-08-24 13:50
Het raj
A lot said and perhaps even more implied with just a few lines
raj
Thu, 2020-08-27 12:42
Hi Stan
thanks for reading and your comment...
be well ..stay safe dear friend...
raj (sublime_ocean)