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ANIMAL JOKES
1.
A kitten snuck back in the house
but his momma was on the quick
to lecture him for being late
and how she had been worried sick.
“Okay, mom, so I’m a little late,
but why shouldn’t I be allowed
to live at least one of my lives
the way I please," the brat meowed.
2.
Two herrings met in the Baltic Sea;
one was grouchy, one was chipper.
Chipper: "Hey, pal, where’s your brother?”
Grouchy: 'Am I my brother’s kipper?'
3.
Few turkeys had survived
that Thanksgiving Day slaughter,
among them a widowed mom
with her unruly daughter.
Scolds the momma turkey:
You naughty, naughty baby,
if your father knew how bad you are,
he would turn over in his gravy!
4.
My kitten sharpened her nails on the couch
and quite upset, I had her de-clawed,
but kitten grinned, then gleefully said,
“Just you wait till I see Santa Claws.”
5.
A Nanny goat did bolt and jump,
then browsed through the city dump.
She ate a book, began to spit
and bleated “Ma-a-a, I don’t like it!”
(I guess she’d have liked the film much better;
she nearly choked on paper, binding, and each letter.)
Comments
Dandini
Tue, 2021-01-26 18:30
I really liked "Am I my
I really liked "Am I my brother's kipper?" "Turning over in his gravy" isn't too bad either.
[This is a duplicate account of Edna Sweetlove and been permanently suspended]
VanRyan
Wed, 2021-01-27 09:23
Thank you, Dandini;
your comment is much appreciated. Jerry
Lavender
Tue, 2021-01-26 21:02
Animal Jokes
Hi, Jerry!
Methinks you are near genius! Such cleverness doth prevail! You are so talented, even as you step away from your lovely sonnets. I don't know which I think is the best - "kipper" or "gravy." Good one!
Thank you!
L
VanRyan
Wed, 2021-01-27 09:32
Dear Lavender;
your sweet words definitely not only stroke my ego, but inspire me to undertake even greater works. Thank you for liking my cornball jokes, dear lady. Jerry
Asche Keegan
Wed, 2021-01-27 01:39
Dear Van,
HA! I was chuckling by the third stanza and downright laughing by the fifth! These are hilarious and wry, and I like them all! XD
..................................................
https://meanderingbackward.blogspot.com
"The true alchemists do not turn lead into gold; they turn the world into words." -William H. Gass
VanRyan
Wed, 2021-01-27 09:39
DearAsche;
thank you for chuckling and laughing; now you have got me doing the same. Jerry/Van
Geezer
Wed, 2021-01-27 08:34
Yes...
What Asche said! Funny stuff, I was particularly amused by "My brother's Kipper".
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
VanRyan
Wed, 2021-01-27 09:51
Hello Sir Geezer;
thank you for laughing kind sir. And now on to greater and finer things. Jerry
I_am_Oriii
Wed, 2021-01-27 08:56
I think is is amazing I love
I think is is amazing I love your play with words
Oriii
VanRyan
Wed, 2021-01-27 09:55
Thanks for the applause, Orili;
amd now I can rest on my laurels. Thank you, mucho! Jerry/ van