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Rose
She had so many broken pieces
after all these years
leaving a disquiet of scars
Some of the shards piercing her still
When I gave her flowers
she had no chance of seeing
the field of regard and tenderness
from which they came
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Last few words:
Broken love - the impetus for so much poetry I thought I'd add another piece to the overfull genre. I think of her often, but moving on was the best thing for us both. It was just hard to see it at the time.
Cheers
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2021-12-05 15:57
There are...
too many people out there that don't know how to move on, including the girl that can't appreciate the flowers. I think that this short, concise little poem illustrates this very well. Well done! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Tue, 2021-12-07 11:23
Thanks Geez! I think knowing
Thanks Geez! I think knowing when to walk away is an acquired skill that some are better at than others, at least in my experience. I've had plenty of practice, LOL.
Cheers
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Tue, 2021-12-07 13:47
I totally agree...
I've seen plenty of friends and acquaintances, that have chased after and stalked former lovers! Some of them even want to fight the new people that said former lovers are now seeing! It doesn't make sense to me! If they don't want to be with you, it is like fighting over a coat too small; what are you going to do If/when you win? You can't wear the coat anyway! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Tue, 2021-12-07 18:32
Excellent analogy Geez -
Excellent analogy Geez - thanks!
Michael Anthony