Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Moon Salve
I’ve been to places
few have seen them
Physical and ethereal
They both require
Selfless review
With knowledge of which of the two is surreal
Summiting mountains
Only a few
But countless traverses of trail
Loads of challenges
Victories too
And numerous trials and tests that were failed
I Pick myself up
Dust my back off
Massage magic salve on the wounds
I fashion resolve
Into a crutch
Relentlessly drawn to your beckoning moon
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Something for my wife, who carries me sometimes.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-07-10 07:24
dear Tim,
I really like these lines:
I fashion resolve
Into a crutch
Relentlessly drawn to your beckoning moon
I think they are the heart of this piece. i am in love with the moon, too. i think Cancer is my "moon sign"
I really like your title it just reaches out and grabbed me! i also like how the poem is structured, a thing of beauty!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-07-10 07:46
Gratitude
Always pleased to hear you enjoy my writing. The feeling is mutual I assure you. I really love that one for Steve from yesterday.
Thanks friend,
Tim
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-07-10 08:11
thank you
Tim you are both gracious and kind.
*warm hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2022-07-10 13:50
Nice piece!
The quest, your poem speaks to that (to me). I mean the quest walking the trail of enlightenment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
RoseBlack
Sun, 2022-07-10 21:58
Love the feeling
Of this poem. Reminds me of astral projection and surfing the realms beyond consciousness. Such adventures and journeys await when we leave ourselves and push beyond the present. A light, pleasant read for sure.
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Mon, 2022-07-11 06:44
This has...
an etheral quality about it, that is hard to define. I love that you honor your wife with it. I get the part where:
"Summiting mountains
Only a few
But countless traverses of trail
~ Geez.
.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.