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BOOK ENDS
Each of us has a single birth
and we have but one death
while we spin here on this earth
all trying to catch our breath.
My life is like an old book shelf
sagging with often read tales
each one just about myself
the few triumphs, all of the fails.
Every single line of story
capped by those book ends of life
which contain but little glory
of a living all run rife.
In the end bookends don't matter
they are fixed and just sit there.
It's in between them, all that chatter
all things that we build and share
all the leaves of love and pratter.
Life is contained within there.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
The last stanza is Very rough
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2021-03-25 21:38
Well
I have been called a lot of things but stunning? lol. i appreciate your input and will consider it when I try to eliminate all the rough edges of this chicken scratching
Geezer
Fri, 2021-03-26 10:07
I really like the theme...
just a couple of crits.
1] the last line of the first stanza.
I would switch the line around so that it says:
"all trying to catch our breath."
2] leafs should be [leaves]
This seems kind of profound and I think that the last line should just be separated.
Otherwise, I think that it's fine. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-03-26 11:09
ME???
write something profound? Musta been an accident. The leafs leaves thing...I'll need to check that out . I think leafs are for books and leaves are for trees. I'll also consider your other ideas. Thanks for dropping by
Geezer
Wed, 2022-06-22 07:53
Leaves versus leafs..
Leafs are what you do, when you leaf through a book: "He leafs through the pages of the book". Leaves are the plural of leafs;
"The leaves of the book were stuck together". Just saying'. And yes, you have written something profound. ~ Geez.
.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Mon, 2022-07-11 23:11
Hi Geeze
you are correct. I'll get that taken care of
Lavender
Fri, 2021-03-26 12:18
Book Ends
Hi, Stan,
Both retrospective and introspective poetry. Wonderful and relatable to those of us with a few years in the rear view mirror. Your last stanza to me is especially good - poetically and in wisdom. This poem for me is like a gentle heart-to-heart with one's personal life.
Thank you!
L
scribbler
Fri, 2021-03-26 15:13
Hi Lav
Yes I expect we older folks might relate to this better than the young people
scribbler
Fri, 2021-03-26 16:41
Hi Ted
I have read book recreationally all my life. And I thought comparing a book shelf with its book ends with life and its" book ends "of life and death might make for a good poem. I am pleased you enjoyed this scribble
lovedly
Fri, 2021-03-26 18:37
MY BOOK ON NEO APPEARS TO BE ENDING now BIND IT
all trying to catch our breath
OR THEIR breath
stan which
scribbler
Fri, 2021-03-26 20:18
Hmmm......
Let me check that line.............well as is it includes the protagonist and I think that works better. But keep suggestions coming. BTW how are you doing?
lovedly
Sat, 2021-03-27 15:04
AT TIMES I WONDER
AT TIMES I WONDER
Why do I still wander
in the expanse of time
I live in a vast wilderness
as jess would say
since his ashes
they immerse in the ocean today
life took him a long very long way
he left me in a serious loss
swimming in the shallows
who knows whats next
why live longer than long
why not let life ebb away
what makes me so invaluable
that I must still stay
Never mind no one will miss me
a learner all my 80 so long days
thanks for the concern
but I will tell you to discern
as of now three docs say
keeping living till your last day
when will that be
who can so say
even heavens are in tears today
crying loud come right away
it rains no not in their eyes
but mine stan
as you know all these days
I do silently stay
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-03-24 07:36
it is funny
that you say the last paragraph is rough...for I liked it best...
in the end bookends don't matter
they are fixed and just sit there.
It's in between them, all that chatter
all the things we build and share
all the leafs of love and pratter;
Life is contained between there.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Thu, 2022-03-24 10:21
hello
I consider it rough because it doesn't match other stanzas in length.
lovedly
Wed, 2022-06-22 01:36
REWIEW STAN THIS LINE.... REPLACE the two THE
the few triumphs, all of the fails
scribbler
Mon, 2022-07-11 23:12
hi loved
Will do