Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Prayer of the Nemophile
I commit my heart to the trees
Amongst whose shade I walk
Glade is thick and darkening
Trail is long and forked
I know this forest, we are one
It calls me back to hold my heart
Lifting me from rank despair
Offering new starts
Pine and spruce reminding me
As do the stretching firs
Even through the winter’s cold
Greening life still stirs
Boughs in sun or laden thick
Lush beneath a heavy snow
Reminding me that burdens cold
Also make us grow
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Lavender
Sat, 2022-12-31 15:40
Prayer of the Nemophile
Hello, Tim,
So soft and gentle - and very quiet. Walking among the trees in very much like praying, meditating. They really are our soulmates who help us understand ourselves. Beautiful.
L
Geezer
Sat, 2022-12-31 16:37
Only one...
little crit. I think you should write the last line of the second stanza, as "Offering new starts." The ess on starts is almost silent and does not make it sound forced. I find that being next to trees and the flowers that abide in groves of trees, makes for a day of bliss. Nothing like being cuddled by the forest. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Rosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2022-12-31 17:00
Ok, corrected
I didn’t find it terribly bothersome how it was. I do like this better. Played around with the preceding line as well to correct the verb tense. Thanks for the pointer. Happy new year.
Tim
Geezer
Sat, 2022-12-31 17:02
Yes...
that works even better with the reworked line previous. ~Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.