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Tragedy
It can pull you together or tear you apart,
With a shattered soul or a broken heart…
A young man lost to the ravages of war,
Or a girl abducted on her way to the store…
The pain is real and it won’t subside,
You wear a mask but it’s hard to hide…
Friends will ask how you are doing,
You say you’re fine but a storm is brewing…
Fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers,
Each grieving differently than the others…
Some will sit quietly not saying a word,
Or scream in anger at what has occurred…
Life will never again be the same,
Your heart will ache when you hear their name…
But I hope you find courage in spite of the loss,
Like the lady who’s son was nailed to a cross…
The days will pass and the sun will rise,
Long after you’ve said your final goodbyes…
May the fullness of time bring clarity,
To those who have suffered a tragedy…
Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-02-06 11:30
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Tragedy" effectively captures the emotional impact of loss and grief. The use of contrasting images, such as a shattered soul or a broken heart, effectively conveys the depth of pain experienced. The poem also explores the different ways in which individuals cope with tragedy, highlighting the complexity of grief.
The use of specific examples, such as a young man lost to war or a girl abducted, adds a sense of realism and relatability to the poem. These examples help to create a connection with the reader and evoke empathy for those who have experienced tragedy.
The poem also touches on the theme of resilience and finding courage in the face of loss. The reference to the lady whose son was nailed to a cross serves as a powerful metaphor for finding strength in the midst of suffering.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the imagery and sensory details in the poem. This could help to enhance the emotional impact and create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader. Additionally, consider exploring
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Leslie
Tue, 2024-02-06 08:20
Stevo...
I loved it. Descriptive in all the right ways. actually to tell the truth that was the best poem I've ever read on the subject of tragedy great job
All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!
Stevo
Tue, 2024-02-06 08:44
Tragedy
Wow, thank you very much!
Geezer
Tue, 2024-02-06 13:38
It seems...
to me, that there is always a piece of you missing,
with the loss of someone important in your life.
Gradually, the hole heals and life becomes bearable again,
but the scars are always there, and sometimes, the pain comes sudden!
Like an old physical injury; occasionally, for no apparent reason, the formerly injured part
suddenly screams "I remember!" Yeah, you got it in one.
Your title is okay, the language, clean and clear.
Your rhythm and pace are off a couple of times, but not badly.
I would suggest that you read through and you will discover
a place or two where you can improve upon the rhythm.
Something to think about:
A young man lost, in the ravage of war - [keep as close to the 10 beat meter as possible.]
A girl [taken] on her way to the store.
The simple drop of a short word or syllable, can make or break a line.
"Some will sit [quiet], not saying a word."
As always, my comments and advice are for you to, use it, twist it, ditch it.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Stevo
Thu, 2024-02-08 10:03
Tragedy
Thank you for your comments
Stevo
Thu, 2024-02-08 10:03
Tragedy
Thank you for your thoughts
Sen99
Tue, 2024-02-06 17:10
Dying is always difficult
Rhyming couplets seem so simplistic, I've avoided them, but you have described a difficult subject with simple language pretty well. Well done for your effort.
Stevo
Thu, 2024-02-08 10:04
Tragedy
Thank you for reading it
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-02-07 10:28
hello Stevo
a masterpiece of sorrow. My favorite lines are:
The pain is real and it won’t subside,
You wear a mask but it’s hard to hide…
Friends will ask how you are doing,
You say you’re fine but a storm is brewing…
Fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers,
Each grieving differently than the others…
Some will sit quietly not saying a word,
Or scream in anger at what has occurred…
I do not have the words to tell you just how fantastic this poem is...
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Stevo
Thu, 2024-02-08 10:04
Tragedy
Thank you for your very kind words