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Intimacy
intimacy
strangers naked in a room
Straddling, eyes glazed,Weight pressed
Entering your body space, Exploring crevices and nooks
Exploding in your head or your horizon
intimacy
Twenty something German woman
talking about threesomes
To a total stranger
And suggesting ........what was she suggesting ?
intimacy
A glance in passing, a feel, a smell
A thought, a caress,
Words not spoken ,
Wonderful warm wetness when he has gone
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Could I have expanded it?
Editing stage:
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Comments
sueb
Thu, 2013-01-03 09:30
intimacy
interesting poem did u ?
Frenchf
Thu, 2013-01-03 10:07
Not with her ...no
But I have her mobile and the mobile of the guy who invited me to an orgy.
Rationality is prevailing at the moment xxx
sueb
Thu, 2013-01-03 10:12
intimacy
what an exciting life u lead keep that number for me I might need it lol x
Esker
Thu, 2013-01-03 14:00
lawyer helper
long ago I met a friend I made
who was at a hospice in a city
I dwelt in
He worked for laywers in the city
got the virus and came north
and would stand in the little
convenience store arguing with
the owner..... I ended up and my
then ex made him our friend
We were both smart and he also
and I would banter with him mentally
One year they were breaking down
the carnival..the neon
the workers and the park forest all
lit up at night quiet and surreal
He probably was cruising and came
and met up with us standing and
we watched them work for a spell
..
Your poetry is unique..most never write
of their life..or style of life
Neo is for adults mostly
I like your openess
and poetic view
of something that
most would not
look upon
Thank You
Frenchf
Thu, 2013-01-03 16:06
Human sexuality fascinates me
I am warm towards people and impulsive. Gets me into a lot of trouble. I loved lawyer helper.thank you for your comments. My good wishes for what little I know about you French f
loved
Fri, 2013-01-04 03:03
i see you are very bold
you will turn i see
men and women
to warmth
even when freezing cold
I am equally sexually oriented
but many want me to unfold
but 'tis beyond me
as I'm a poetically
sensitive ,lonely soul...
loved
Frenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 08:14
Haiku
When one is bold tragedy may emerge
Sexuality is personal
Be comfortable with how you act
Haiku poems date from 9th century Japan to the present day. Haiku is more than a type of poem; it is a way of looking at the physical world and seeing something deeper, like the very nature of existence.
loved
Fri, 2013-01-04 09:42
Haiku is
7 5 7
i was told
and
it dealt more with nature
is it so ???
''so be bold if you will
all will honey till
never mind the grind they give'
does this qualify as a haiku
I wonder
loved
Frenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 13:21
Think Jess is the haiku expert
Whatever it is a good example xxx
Jenifer James
Fri, 2013-01-04 15:26
Totally agree Frenchf.
Totally agree Frenchf. Forums from this allow you to to be comfortable. Well, make me comfortable, anyway.
Jenifer Jaspa James
weirdelf
Fri, 2013-01-04 02:48
I love your courageous and frank approach
Without being formal you use poetic sound wonderfully.
Sexual intimacy in groups? That is a minefield I explored through the '70s and '80s and with extremely diverse results ranging from life-long bonding to everyone getting a dose and being kinda miffed.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Jenifer James
Fri, 2013-01-04 05:13
Good to see that sex in poems
Good to see that sex in poems gets the most responses...odd that! Anyway I have always believed that poetry IS the place to explore our lives, to shock or move people. I like this - it's not crude, just captures that moment. And has an erotic edge, of course!
Jenifer Jaspa James
Frenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 08:18
Do read orgy
And the others except Nigella which isn't a related theme
French
Jenifer James
Fri, 2013-01-04 16:36
whoohoo!
whoohoo!
Jenifer Jaspa James
Frenchf
Fri, 2013-01-04 17:36
I love this website
There is instant connection and frankness. I appreciate everything you said. The strange thing is that I came to it through looking up Internet lothario trying to find out whether a man I was with was a known lothario- Sue b 's poem I think? And homed in on it and it is a fantastic place to be.
The critique especially is very nice because you have so many reviewers giving honest opinions
Thank you
French
vinnie16
Sun, 2013-01-20 10:25
INIMAMCY
BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN VERRRY SUSPENSEFUL.
vinnie16
Sun, 2013-01-20 10:25
INIMAMCY
BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN VERRRY SUSPENSEFUL.
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-21 13:16
Thanks Vinnie
In life sometimes its quite nice to tell the truth
weirdelf
Mon, 2013-01-21 00:54
I saw on Dashboard that you had revised this
but the Revisions tab is not showing, hmmm
I like to click on Revisions (it appears above the title) to compare various drafts of poems.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-21 13:16
Thanks Jess I'm just rubbish
At using any website properly so will try next time
weirdelf
Mon, 2013-01-21 13:36
If you actually did edit this
then it is a site problem I need to report, not your fault. Have you done edits?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Frenchf
Tue, 2013-01-22 13:12
I need to edit all my poems
Can you wait till next week as I am soo busy. I'll do the editing next Monday and then if it hasnt come out properly it probably is my sight problem rather than yours. I'll pm you the ones Ive edited and thanks xxx
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-01-26 15:12
I don't edit this but i
Am going through all the others making changes so if they don't appear it is me or a site problem. Thanks for sorting it out