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Deeds indeed
Do well
be good
good deeds are rarely forgotten
though many do
but
postmortem speaks of the whole truth
good as well as bad,
If one had AIDS
tis sad
and
if someone did pierce
tis worse.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
billypringle
Mon, 2013-12-30 05:54
Thank you for my morning laugh...
Tis nice to wake
to laughter, jolly
hard, belly roll
laughter, to hear
the lungs bellow
feel eye's burn
with tears. Tis
good to laugh.
jimm
mand
Mon, 2013-12-30 06:38
Hi Loved
I see the Troll is at it again! Lol
Inspired by Raj's senryu me thinks! I like the encouragement of the first stanza! I hope you don't mind but I did a little tweaking - ( ignore if you don't like it ). I love that you answered Raj's senryu with a poem - you have a heart of gold!!
Do well, be good
good deeds are rarely forgotten.
A heart will be made known.
“good as well as bad”
in the post-mortem of the whole truth.
Keep safe my friend!! Ignore the Troll!! Lol
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
billypringle
Mon, 2013-12-30 06:52
Your friend ? You shallow bat...
You've only just arrived here and your making friends already. have you even bothered to feel this poem? its utterly ridiculous.
Jimm
loved
Mon, 2013-12-30 10:10
so kind of you
will redo
loved
William Saint George
Mon, 2013-12-30 06:59
I love this poem,
except the last stanza. I don't really get it. It doesn't seem to me to fit the message of the previous two.
Not saying you should remove it, I just want to know why it's there.
But the second stanza made me smile. :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
loved
Mon, 2013-12-30 10:11
thanks shall get back
after funsters
have their silly laughs
loved