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MOVED
He touched me
As none before -
past
roughshod whispers
to a visceral core
gossamer touch,
feather-like gored
had me always yearning, hoping,
begging -
for more.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 03:53
Hah Eph!
thanks for taking this "to the next level" ;)
Would you believe that this "touching" is not literal, but perhaps more profound because of it!
Thanks for stopping by!
Bonitaj
Seren
Sat, 2013-01-12 05:17
ello Boni
I really was moved you conveyed the touch without touch so well, I seriously cant see anything I would change its a wonderful poem, its lovely to see you back and read you again
Brava Chicka
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 08:22
Thanks luv!
I'm convinced it's a "gal thing". This ability to touch and be touched without touching.... ;)
Cheers
Bonitaj
sueb
Sat, 2013-01-12 11:25
beautiful x
beautiful x
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 13:18
Thanks!
for stopping by to comment!
Bonitaj
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-01-12 16:03
Was their a comma
Feather-like?
That's how I read it in physicality. Great write
Bonitaj
Sun, 2013-01-13 10:26
Hello Frenchf!
nice to meet you. There is a hyphen here if that's what you mean, and yes, I can see why one could intrepret it literally! That's why I like it a lot too, because it can be interpreted on both levels.
Thanks for reading... I will stop by and look at your work as soon as time permits.
Bonitaj
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-14 19:11
Love your amazing photo and name
Bonita reminds me of a doll
Bonitaj
Wed, 2013-01-30 05:09
HE TOUCHED ME.
HE touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast.
It was a boundless place to me,
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.
EMILY DICKENSON
I think just to contextualize this piece in a more metaphorical sense, who else would give the theme better justice than Dickenson herself!
Bonitaj