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WHEN I FALL
This full catastrophe living
is tough
morning catcalls of capricious longing
an abstemious journey that leaves me replete
with nothing
my mother always said
the reason why love matters
is so that we'll live life well
feel in sync,
even be lucky enough to be
touched
by an angel
yet I think
when I fall once more Into that black hole,
(in the wake of these ore-locked dreams),
I may sink to new lows and remain
frozen
in a fetal position.
Or better still, remain unborn to
start
all over again.
9 February, '12
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Tried to use as many titles as possible and string them into a fairly feasible storyline.
Thanks to all those whose titles I was able to use, interalia, Barbara, Wes, Mark!
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Bonitaj
Thu, 2012-02-09 04:25
n/c
n/c
Bonitaj
scribbler
Thu, 2012-02-09 07:50
hi Boni
"full catastrophe living" I really liked that phrase in this poem. I guess we who have been drawn into the singularity of love should count ourselves lucky indeed................stan
Bonitaj
Mon, 2015-09-28 15:05
Thanks Stan!
I had originally penned this piece with that title, with due recognition given to it's source, I.e. Jonn Kabat-Zinn. Should you look it up as a reference on Dictionary.com or google, you'll find
him closely aligned with all things around mindfulness and Buddhism. I bought a book by him, of the same title, some years ago.
As regards the singularity of love, I am fortunately not lacking in that sphere. As I said, this piece was more a "stringing together of titles", (9 in fact!) - than an expose of 'love's labour lost" ! ;)
Thanks for the read! As I said earlier, I was most impressed with your offering for this workshop!
Regards
Bonitaj
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2012-02-09 11:08
Nicely done
You did very well stringing these titles in your poem. "When I Fall" as your title, was well chosen, especially in the third stanza where you fall into the black hole of your mothers protective womb and where you say better have not been born.
As for me the thought of being back in the wound is inviting, but never to have been born, I shy away from. I'm glad I was born even in this world's castratrophe condition, though I can relate to many who may feel that way. I enjoyed the journey.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Bonitaj
Fri, 2012-02-10 02:14
Thank you!
Mark for the encouraging comment - and the thought provoking title of course! ;)
Barbara - for the great inter-active workshop! Really enjoyed it!
Bonitaj
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2012-02-10 06:56
Glad you enjoyed
Was my hope to make it more fun like.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Nordic cloud
Sat, 2012-02-11 16:02
A time old story
A time old story
told in a different way,
lived and living,
a little thought in words
with lovely sudden single
stops,
a cycle that is too short a life.
I liked this Bonni
"This full catastrophe living is tough morning catcalls of capricious longing an abstemious journey that leaves me replete
with nothing"
I trust you are not left with
nothing? L Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Bonitaj
Sun, 2012-02-12 15:30
Ann!
how lovely to hear from you! No I am certainly not left with nothing, but am instead, trying to follow your Buddihist admonition To cease to strive after happiness! ;). Like a butterfly, it must alight on one!
Thanks for stopping by!
Bonitaj