Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
AT 1:00 AM
Late at night
alone.
No company but thoughts
and memories.
Which lead to doubts
in old men.
Could I have done better?
Can I do better?
It is during these times
that the long knives
slowly peel our souls
and test the metttle
of our beliefs.
Do you ever wonder,
as I did in my youth,
why old men never seem
to sleep?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
My semi-weakly free verse
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2012-03-13 11:17
Stan
All around good poetry
i feel the title has that late night feel when thoughts make you reminense about times past.
With that said your poem resonated two different times
The time 1:am and the times you were remembering in your poem
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
scribbler
Tue, 2012-03-13 12:41
Hi Barb
I am pleased you liked this free verse excursion........stan
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2012-03-13 15:25
yes i do
It is a really take me back poem
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
China Blue
Wed, 2012-03-14 09:50
Stan
sleep
I have to say this is a poem to ponder and no rhyme wow
well done all the same I'm sure many have wondered at much, during that time when sleep will not come
I really liked the wording of stanza#3
It is during these times
that the long knives
slowly peel our souls
and test the metttle
of our beliefs
very descriptive
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
scribbler
Wed, 2012-03-14 13:15
Hi Chrys
I do a free verse on occasion just to flex lol. I'm pleased you like this effort..........stan
wesley snow
Wed, 2012-03-14 12:41
OOOH.
This is a real good example of "subject led" poetry. You could written this as prose, a song lyric, hell a limerick and it would have had the same effect. This is very special. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
scribbler
Wed, 2012-03-14 13:21
Hey Wes
There have been a few time when I've posted a poem in free verse, rhyming and Haiku but I've decided that even though it was 1 post it violated 1 per day rule so I stopped doing it. Hmmmmm............might try this as rhyme after my shop closes............stan PS "subject led poetry" learn something new every day lol