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Burn Out
See the stars burn out
Falling swiftly to the ground
Gone without a trace
A Senryu
© an hour ago, Eugenia
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2022-10-22 19:13
Love it
Love, love, love it.
Tim
Rosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2022-10-22 19:13
Love it
Love, love, love it.
Tim
Lavender
Sat, 2022-10-22 21:28
Burn Out
Greetings, Gigi!
With first read, I considered this more of a haiku representing nature, but it cleverly may be interpreted as a senryu as we humans experience burn out much like the stars. Either way, it is beautiful!
Thank you!
Welcome to Neo!
Lavender
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-10-23 04:22
Yes Lav
Exactly. It’s both, depending on what level you’re reading! Isn’t it great?!
Tim
RoseBlack
Sun, 2022-10-23 08:34
Wonderful
I was thinking along the lines of Lavender...as we experience burn out much like the stars. Such a simple, elegant write. Great job!
~RoseBlack~