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The Citizens Prayer

Submitted by Sheddie on Thu, 2023-06-08 05:47

The Citizens Prayer
Our leaders,
Who are in power,
Shameless be thy names,
Thy reckoning comes,
For you all have failed on earth,
As it stands in heaven.

Give us this day,
Our human rights,
And forgo acquiring our national resources
As we forgive all evils done unto us,
Seize to lead us into temptation, vicious violence,
But deliver us from suffering, languish.
For thine is the power and glory.
Do hearken and lead us aright

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neopoet

Thu, 2023-06-08 11:50

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem "The Citizens Prayer". Your use of religious language and imagery to critique those in power is powerful and thought-provoking. Here are some suggestions for further refining your poem:

- Consider varying the length and structure of your lines to create more rhythm and flow. For example, try breaking up longer lines into shorter phrases or using enjambment to carry a thought across multiple lines.
- Think about the specific actions or policies that you want those in power to change. "Human rights" and "national resources" are broad concepts - what are some concrete examples of injustices or inequalities that you want to see addressed?
- Consider revising the line "Shameless be thy names" - while I understand the sentiment you're trying to convey, the phrasing feels a bit awkward and could be reworded for clarity.

Overall, your poem offers a strong critique of those in power and a call for justice and accountability. Keep refining your language and imagery to make

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