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Dusk to Dawn
When Sun bids adieu
the greens wave in gratitude
for keeping their grins
At night they enact their role
wiping some carbon footprints
Moon glides merrily
a ballet on starlit stage
the crickets applaud
Floral tributes greet at dawn
in rose buds speckled with gems
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Editing stage:
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Comments
alidzain
Sat, 2014-05-10 17:32
Raj
Damn, you sure writes better than me. lol. You already know this is good.Keep it up, man.
Alid
raj
Sun, 2014-05-11 15:53
Alid
Thanks for your encouraging comment...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sat, 2014-05-17 16:20
Raj
This looks like a renga to me. I try doing it on my own once and Barbara told me that it should be created by more than one poet instead.
Alid
raj
Sun, 2014-05-18 05:28
Alid
You are right. That is why I haven't called it a Renga or a Tanka.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Sun, 2014-05-11 11:48
just extremely
b e a u t i f u l
raj ur wonder fullllll
is this all the effect of the ocean
in the middle of the night you go there
alone >>>
I doubt it
but good you do
that's why such imagery comes to you
loved
raj
Sun, 2014-05-11 15:53
Loved
Thanks for the visit and a very generous comment....
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Ian.T
Sun, 2014-05-11 18:58
raj
This write gives me many words that flow with the setting of the Sun until it rises again in dews rainbows dawn,.
Keep them coming, yours, Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
raj
Mon, 2014-05-12 04:40
Ian
Thanks for the visit and the read. Glad to know it has inspired you to take it further...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
emeka ozurumba
Sat, 2014-05-17 11:12
i like the natural sense in
i like the natural sense in this piece
raj
Sat, 2014-05-17 15:47
Thanks Emeka for your visit
Thanks Emeka for your visit and comment.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
emeka ozurumba
Sat, 2014-05-17 11:13
i like the natural sense in
i like the natural sense in this piece
Seren
Tue, 2014-05-20 09:18
Oh Raj
This is just lovely I cant think of anything to offer but my congratulations on a cracker write
kudos my friend...
much love and hugs Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Tue, 2014-05-20 11:28
Hi Jayne
Thanks for the visit and the read....good to know you liked it..nice to see you back..
much love n hugz...
raj (sublime_ocean)