Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Eda
Eda, your beauty is striking,
With your hair flowing long,
Your brown eyes shining bright,
And your smile, a perfect song.
Many envy your grace,
But they don't know you,
They can't see beyond your face,
Or the heart that beats true.
You're not just a pretty face,
You're intelligent, athletic, and kind,
A true friend who stands with grace,
With a spirit that's always aligned.
Though some judge and envy you,
Blinded by their own strife,
You stay true to yourself,
In your strength, kindness, and life.
So keep shining, Eda,
With your beauty that's true,
For your strength, your mind, your heart,
Are what make the world better, anew.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-05-05 15:43
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Eda" is a tribute to a beautiful and strong woman named Eda. The poet praises her physical features such as her long hair, shining brown eyes, and perfect smile. However, the poet also acknowledges that there is more to Eda than just her beauty. She is also intelligent, athletic, and kind, and a true friend who stands with grace.
The poem effectively conveys the message that Eda is more than just a pretty face, and that she is a person of substance who is admired by many. The language used is simple yet impactful, and the rhyming scheme adds a pleasant rhythm to the poem.
One suggested line edit could be to change "Your brown eyes shining bright" to "Your eyes, brown and bright." This would add a slight variation to the repetitive structure of the poem and make the line flow more smoothly.
Overall, "Eda" is a well-written tribute that celebrates a woman's beauty and character in a thoughtful and heartfelt manner.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact