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FADED TRACES
Rectangles spaced around the wall
each below a hook or nail
they're just darker spots, that's all
where paint has not yet faded pale
Easy to guess what once hung there
works of art within a frame
beauty the artists tried to share
perhaps in quest for fleeting fame
But the paintings all are gone
unfaded shapes are all that's left
on the walls they hung upon
which somehow now seem all bereft
The hangers soon will be removed
another coat of paint applied
in hopes the room will be improved
when all the faint remnants have died
Perhaps a few decades from now
when I'm no longer here at all
somebody will remember how
my traces faded on this wall
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Sun, 2012-04-01 16:04
Hi Beau
I didn't realize I'd used traces so much within the poem lol. I always hesitate to change a title for fear it might be seen as trying to "trick" people into reading a poem twice but this might be a rare exception. I'll think about it a bit. Appreciate your visit............stan