The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Five Percent Battery" effectively uses the metaphor of a car running out of fuel to depict a state of extreme exhaustion. The imagery is vivid and the language is evocative, which helps to engage the reader's senses and emotions.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of metaphor. For instance, the phrase "dark circles tell all" seems to shift the metaphor from a car to a person without a clear transition. This could potentially confuse the reader and disrupt the flow of the poem. Consider revising this line to maintain the car metaphor throughout the poem.

The poem also seems to shift abruptly from the first person to the third person in the line "she, who is about to fall." This sudden shift in perspective can be jarring for the reader. If the intention is to create a sense of distance or detachment, this could be achieved more smoothly by introducing the third person perspective earlier in the poem or by providing more context.

The rhythm and meter of the poem could also be improved. The poem currently has a somewhat irregular rhythm, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow along. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent rhythm or meter.

Finally, the poem could benefit from a clearer resolution. The final line "Knock down, drag out fight" suggests a struggle or conflict, but it's not clear what this struggle is or how it relates to the theme of exhaustion. Consider revising the ending to provide a more satisfying conclusion to the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Upon seeing the title of this poem, my heart skipped a beat in fear for you. I hope you are not the worn out exhausted vehicle that you write of! I very much like the metaphors used in this piece as I am familiar to the situation. good luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

Your poem really addresses the stress of low battery and results of such a mess.
Liked it very much.

how about shifting the lines in the stanza around a little?
You can make it appear that the dark circles are a burnout in the parking lot.

Engine's down a quart,
burn out...
dark circles tell all,
who is about to fall.

~ Geez.
.

What are we fighting? Ourselves or our deamons?

Chilling but....I love it