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Ginger Sleeps

Submitted by Mark on Thu, 2024-05-02 11:13

Light floods
Locks waist length
She walks
Stepping sure
So pure

Sleep into dream
Unknown worlds
Visions
Gardens
Gate

Unconsciousness
Pull
Tosses
Stay
Stops

Looking
Fear
Falls
Warmth
Wakes

Thinks
Dying

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
How to use imagery in poetry..
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

Rula

Sat, 2024-05-04 16:03

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I see you have successfully stripped your piece from any imagery (except for first line light floods)and to tell the truth I had difficulty to get the scene and I assume this is intended, isn't it.
As it is the case with others , I look forward to reading the improved piece

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Mark

Sat, 2024-05-04 17:34

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Hello Rula, If I took it down any more it would be complete jibberish, however, that would have given me even more opportunities when I add imagery and even devices beyond imagery :~)
Thank you for stopping in with your 2 cents,

Mark
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author comment

scribbler

Thu, 2024-05-09 18:06

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Yes this one is about as bare as it gets

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