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Goldfish

Submitted by brittle light on Sun, 2016-05-29 01:26

Of flowers and sunshiny poems;

limited episodes in rerun;
like a goldfish spinning 'round in a bowl;
nothing new under that sun.

Those of emo affect in lackluster tones;

a broken playlist, stuck on repeat.
Pity parties tire me out,
and not being young, I'd rather delete.

As for woo woo, and angels, and the heavens above;

all cringe worthy themes, stuck in a rut.
Preaching to a choir of fuzzy thinking coots
leaves me with nothing but... "what the fuck?!"

This is all about personal taste:

and I'm not the world's poetry cop.
I'm just as entrenched in my silly stuff,
much like that goldfish I mentioned at the top!

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2016-05-29 08:51

This is...

refreshing! I liked the format almost as much as I liked the poem. It's nice to see people get out of their box and to drag some of the rest of us out with them. ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

brittle light

Wed, 2016-06-01 01:28

thanks Gee,

thanks Gee,
a refreshing and inhappiating compliment to my 'poetic spirit'

p.s......I made up that word...as in 'inebriating'...sometimes, I just can't help myself!

regards,

author comment

Rula

Tue, 2016-05-31 00:25

I especially like the metaphor use of the golden fish.
I agree with you, themes might not be fresh any more, but different styles bring forth new way and display of the things.
Your piece is a good example of refreshing an old idea.
I really like it.
Thanks for sharing.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Geremia

Tue, 2016-05-31 10:11

I ditto rula...I love this

I ditto rula...I love this poem !

joe

brittle light

Wed, 2016-06-01 01:52

I'm once again, so gratified

I'm once again, so gratified by your response.

thank you,

author comment

brittle light

Wed, 2016-06-01 01:48

Hi Rula

And I agree with you. Finding new ways to speak of universal observations and truths is the only way we can justify continuing to write.
BUT, themes and content still stay very much in play, no matter the style in which they are presented...a well written, contemporary styled poem about something I have no interest in , will still be uninteresting to me ...that's ok, ain't it?

I'm very glad you liked this piece, and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

sincerely,

author comment

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Goldfish