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Gravitas / Back-ordered

Submitted by brittle light on Thu, 2010-11-18 22:19

.
mythoglyphics bore me
emotionality annoys me
verbosity scares me
clarity's a rarity

too much style gets in the way
too cryptic... and...oy vay!
too long, attention fades
too short...there's nothing more to say?

stock lines
schlock rhymes
well refined
but can't find the meter

that's how it seems
as I scan my old reams
...when sensed not as "the author"
......but as a poor innocent reader!

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Last few words:

poetry sans gravitas is just silly verse...thank you all who supply that special ingredient. It is needed and appreciated.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Race_9togo

Thu, 2010-11-18 22:34

Brittle, this is good.

I stumbled a bit on stanza four, the last line, but then I thought "well, what does the line actually mean", and I gave myself a good chuckle, especially when I found it's rhyme at the end of the last stanza.

"reems"...did you mean "reams", as in "reams of paper"?

I enjoyed the gravitas, heehee.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Ian.T

Tue, 2014-12-30 04:51