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Growing Old (Etheree)

Goal
Retain
Older thoughts
With love and joy
I will keep my dreams
Never will I forget
Growing up in days gone by
Only thinking about my life
Learning about the things I have done
Doing things to retain my self respect

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Growing Old" is an Etheree, which is a form of poetry that consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. The poem adheres to this structure effectively, demonstrating a clear understanding of the form.

The theme of aging is explored through the lens of self-reflection and memory. The use of the first-person perspective adds a personal touch to the poem, allowing the reader to connect with the speaker's experiences and emotions.

The poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. While the current language conveys the general idea of aging and self-reflection, incorporating more detailed imagery could help to evoke stronger emotions and create a more immersive reading experience. For example, instead of "Growing up in days gone by", the poet could use specific memories or experiences to illustrate this concept.

The use of the word "retain" in the first and last lines creates a circular structure that effectively encapsulates the theme of the poem. However, the connection between these two instances of the word could be made more explicit. The poet could consider revising the last line to more clearly reflect the idea introduced in the first line.

The rhythm of the poem is somewhat disrupted by the inconsistent use of punctuation. The poet could consider revising the punctuation to create a more consistent rhythm and improve the flow of the poem.

Overall, the poem effectively utilizes the Etheree form to explore the theme of aging. With some revisions to enhance the imagery, clarify the connection between the first and last lines, and improve the rhythm, the poem could be even more impactful.

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The first letter of each line begins with the letters in Growing Old

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