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HELL'S GATES
Say Love be the very Devil,
Set against God the holy-father
Count me then one more heaven's rebel
A choice, there wouldn’t be any other
So I'll ride sin to those hot gates,
That black steed the lord wholly hates.
Just to have love in my reach
Find her doors, knock and then screech,
Of all my sins and all their names.
"Tell Love the Devil, ye gate keeper, tell her,
Save me a dance among the flames!"
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Not Explicit Content
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Botswana
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Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Lord Byron, Kalil Jibran
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Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2024-07-11 01:31
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "HELL'S GATES" presents a vivid and intense exploration of the themes of love, rebellion, and divine conflict. The use of religious imagery and symbolism adds depth to the poem, creating a powerful and evocative atmosphere. The contrast between love and sin, heaven and hell, is effectively portrayed through the speaker's rebellious pursuit of love despite the consequences.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the imagery and metaphors used in the poem. Consider expanding on the descriptions of "that black steed the lord wholly hates" and "a dance among the flames" to enhance the reader's understanding and emotional connection to the themes presented.
Additionally, pay attention to the rhythm and flow of the poem. Some lines may benefit from slight adjustments to improve the overall pacing and impact of the poem. Experiment with varying line lengths and structures to create a more dynamic and engaging reading experience.
Overall, "HELL'S GATES" is a thought-provoking and intense piece that effectively con
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RoseBlack
Thu, 2024-07-11 00:48
I love this
I love the whole meaning behind it. The sacrifices we make for love...sometimes it feels like we have sold our soul to the devil to keep it close, no matter what the cost. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Words Ablaze
Thu, 2024-07-11 04:08
Exactly my thoughts Rosie I
Exactly my thoughts Roseblack, I've done my fair share of that and on every occasion the choice always seemed uncontested even when I knew I was walking into a burning building. Glad you enjoyed it.
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2024-07-11 07:48
hello Words Ablaze,
I really like the whole concept you have spun for us as I have done my time in Heaven/Hell regions. We strive for that perfect love that sets our souls on fire, no matter the cost! Great poem! thanks for sharing it with us!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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Words Ablaze
Thu, 2024-07-11 08:54
Thank you Candlewitch...and
Thank you Candlewitch...and the pleasure is all mine.
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