Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

THE LONELY ONES

Submitted by scribbler on Wed, 2023-07-26 16:55

Some are widows, some widowers
or stuck in marriages gone stale
others outlived all their friends
living in a world gone pale.

Most have faces etched by time
with hair of white or gone away.
They are there if one just looks
as they sit with little left to say.

Even when within a crowd
of people they purport to know
you'll notice that they don't say much
as they feel their isolation grow.

Their silence doesn't mean they're dense
indeed deep within their silent shell
often burns a near genius
longing to leave their private hell.

I know all about the lonely ones
all the ones you know and sometimes see
for all too often that isolated soul
is.....

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 24 To July 29th 2023

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-07-26 23:00

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Alex Tanner

Thu, 2023-07-27 07:33

I used to do a lot of sessions in retirement homes and what you have here is a very good description of so many residents. You could add much more to this as they are affected in so many ways, Still. a perceptive piece. Alex.

scribbler

Thu, 2023-07-27 08:58

Hi Alex

I kept having to fight off the urge to keep writing on this one but I'd decided before hand to keep it short. I' an pleased I captured the angst involved

author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2023-07-27 16:04

The Lonely Ones

Hello, Stan,
I agree that you've captured this loneliness. As I get older, I am clearly understanding how this happens so easily and so frequently.
Thank you,
L

scribbler

Thu, 2023-07-27 16:20

Yes it seems to become worse with age.

Appreciate your dropping by

author comment

Ruby Lord

Sat, 2023-07-29 05:46

Congratulations scribbler on

Congratulations scribbler on winning poem of the week a well deserved award. Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

scribbler

Sat, 2023-07-29 09:05

Thank you

It came as a complete shock to me

author comment

Alex Tanner

Sat, 2023-07-29 14:13

worthy

A worthy win. Alex

scribbler

Sat, 2023-07-29 22:29

hello

I am pleased you think so

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2023-07-29 15:16

dearest Scribler,

many years ago, I worked in a nursing homes as a hired companion for elderly ladies who had lost their husbands. I aided them in their ablutions, getting dressed and anything else they needed. we read and played cards and had long talks. they loved to talk and I loved hearing their tales of younger days. at a young age I learned to respect the elderly and was aware of their qualities.

I also saw, first-hand the lonely and forgotten ones quite literally withering away. waiting and hoping for a visitor.

Great Poem, Congratulations on the win!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

scribbler

Sat, 2023-07-29 22:31

Hi Cat

I expect working in a nursing home is a sad thing as the old people slowly leave

author comment

Jenifer James

Sat, 2023-08-05 18:29

Yes, it can be sad. I was a

Yes, it can be sad. I was a Nurse Educator working mostly in palliative care, but some of it is beautiful: meeting extraordinary people at the end of their lives, hearing the depth of their stories, holding them quietly.

Jenifer Jaspa James

Jenifer James

Mon, 2023-07-31 06:25