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Mischief

Submitted by brittle light on Wed, 2012-10-03 14:10

light flickers and glows
fickle and fancy in manner
illuminating illusion,
delusion,
and the almighty hallucination
playing hocus pocus
with the mind's eye,
teasing truth to tears

I've seen love in pink charade
death as escapade
monsters grining from under the bed
jaunty parades of the lingering dead

light,
forever the cosmic clown,
wildly firing jolts and bolts,
knows no bounds of brilliance
or terror

taming this game maker
this soul shaker
is a natural activity for
players of any age

now, how clearly do you see

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Esker

Wed, 2012-10-03 22:04

Esker's picture

the escapade
flow
sunsets magic hue

the floorboard mystery
when winter cracks her
knuckles in the attic

Great write!!

the journey
from the window
ajar
the sheet metal
cruise...

Thank You

brittle light

Thu, 2012-10-04 16:04

brittle light's picture

things that go bump in the night....with pictures!

the floorboard mystery
when winter cracks her
knuckes in the attic....... that cracked me up!

thanks for your gracious comment

Al

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Rula

Thu, 2012-10-04 02:05

Rula's picture
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oh wow! I really don't know how fast this reads but it caught my breath till the end when I read your question. I thought I am almost blind but shall re-read though I doubt that would make any difference.

I believe you have a brilliant choice of words to achieve your goal and the internal rhyme works really great!

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brittle light

Thu, 2012-10-04 16:10

brittle light's picture

our first meeting, so....Hello

I made some small edits to this since you first read it. I don't know if that will clear things up. I am glad you could enjoy some of the words and rhymes .

thanks for stopping by

Al

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Ian.T

Thu, 2012-10-04 02:30

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A very good write you enlightened me lol great theme and well set out, this needs a quiet read to absorb, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

brittle light

Thu, 2012-10-04 16:13

brittle light's picture

thanks Ian

Al

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wesley snow

Thu, 2012-10-04 18:24

wesley snow's picture
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the style is not my favorite, but I agree with Rula that it roars along with the speed of... well, maybe not that fast, but fast! It was almost a little Dr. Suess like without the cutsie (I'm a fan, so I'm not picking on you). Nymph like it bounces here and there, hard to catch.
Strong language use. Well met.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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brittle light

Fri, 2012-10-05 14:55

brittle light's picture

I've made some more edits to this...a never ending process!

thanks for your thoughts...and, yes, you and I have very different styles...but I shan't hold that against you. As they say "variety is spice" ..."live and let......"

thanks again

Al

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