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My Best Friend, My Best Gift

Submitted by Clentin on Mon, 2024-03-04 10:27

In life there are words and actions
That bind our hearts together
Among the many words and actions
There are those that shine the brightest
A gift from my friend, my wife.

She has given me more than gifts or presents
She provides the daily song that brings joy
The light when times are darkest
The joy when there is sadness

With her, I have found love
In her I have found strength
Her love is a gift beyond measure
A gift that fills our family with hope

Through the daily trials and pain
She stands by me with unwavering support
A solid partnership is my gift
Knowing that I have someone who cares

In her embrace I find peace
In her smile I find hope
She is my best friend
She is the the best gift ever

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

03/24: What My Best Friend Gave Me

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2024-03-04 16:30

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively communicates the speaker's deep appreciation for their partner, using a variety of metaphors to express the depth and breadth of their feelings. The poem's structure is consistent, which aids in its readability and flow.

However, there are aspects that could be improved. The poem tends to tell rather than show, which can limit the emotional impact on the reader. For instance, instead of stating "She provides the daily song that brings joy", consider using more vivid and specific imagery to show how she brings joy into the speaker's life.

The poem also relies heavily on clichés, such as "the light when times are darkest" and "In her smile I find hope". While these phrases are not inherently problematic, they are commonly used and may not fully capture the unique aspects of the speaker's relationship with their partner. Experimenting with more original metaphors and descriptions could enhance the poem's emotional resonance.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more varied sentence structure and rhythm to create a more engaging reading experience. The current structure is quite repetitive, which can make the poem feel monotonous. By varying the length and structure of the lines, you could introduce a more dynamic rhythm that keeps the reader engaged throughout the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Mon, 2024-03-04 10:58

My Best Friend, My Best Gift

Hello, Clentin,
This is beautiful. I especially like the second stanza.
Thank you,
L

Clentin

Mon, 2024-03-04 11:03

Thank you.

Thank you.
I thought about the gift and I really believe it is my long and loving wife that is my best gift besides my children,grand children and great grand children, without my wife I would not have them!

author comment

Lavender

Mon, 2024-03-04 12:03

Beautiful!

Truly a gift (gifts)!
L

Rula

Mon, 2024-03-04 15:11

Hello Clentin

This is so appreciated. I'd say not many would give credit to their wives. You've made this crystal clear with words.
Best wishes for both of you and best wishes for the contest.

❤❤❤❤❤❤