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My Day in the Sun
I swam throughout her ocean,
had to fight her undertow;
her waves became my friend,
more than anyone could know.
Familiar with her coastline,
I've walked along her beach;
I tried to possess her heart, and mind;
both were out of reach.
Her air was so inviting,
I was dancing in her wind;
we grew, and were relating,
and, the thrill was if we'd sinned!
I so, enjoyed her ocean,
but, things just weren't meant to be;
that's the end of my education,
I've only memories.....of her sea.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-02-20 04:11
I know...
..of course, you're right.....but, to never wander THAT beach, again...well, it's soooo difficult, right now. But, this was my excercise in, "closure".....
thanx,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
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docmaverick
Sun, 2011-02-20 15:40
Of course you're right.
Just can't trust that "undertow".
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-02-20 04:20
Thanx, Amalzamani...
..I changed the one line "back", but I didn't understand your comment about using, "mere".
sincerely,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
docmaverick
Sun, 2011-02-20 04:14
Thanx, Bee....
...and how ironic! Your example was exactly how I had it, then I changed it. I think I'll change it, back.
later,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==