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Nothing But The Devil
You are nothing but
the devil
look at you,
now look at me.
Can't you see me
crying here the hell
you walk away.
You said you really
love me but I can
see that you're a fake.
For you are nothing
but the devil and use
me every time, so
when will I say screw
it all, go lay in my
grave and die.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2023-01-31 14:13
This seems...
as though it is racked with sobs and the thoughts are
kind of disjointed, but that adds to the realness. I see you
with a tissue, blowing your nose and wiping your eyes. I would
eliminate the [now] after the devil in the second line. ~ Geezer.
.
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