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Poetry Spin and Spun
I write poetry to abort
Tell readers what others shun
The scripts however long or short
I attempt to spin and spun
For creative writing fun
Whether its good or not, I won't say
I'll leave it for critiquing sake
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Last few words:
ababbcc rhymed
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
Billy Collins, Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, Jess Tapper
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-04-15 04:59
My scripts maybe?
My scripts maybe?
I love the title its got such a spin on it,
spin and spun and life's begun to ...I'll stop but the impetus took me on.
I think after the scripts could be a comma, or a new line.
I don't think you mean the judgement day in here, the other poets judging you,
as to the other one, it might be a bit late to have any use for the judgement :)
Spun fun this it would be fun if it went on,
and also if it were shorter, it is great fun just as it is too Barbara,
you will get us smiling I know it.
Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2012-04-15 08:10
thanks Ann
I made a couple of changes.
I'm still thinking on a better word than judgment
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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author commentweirdelf
Tue, 2012-04-17 03:33
Poetry is an extreme sport!
but sport implies competition, so I challenge the precept.
Tell readers what others shun
great line!
judgement day? Is that right now when we crit you? Or is it the test of time?
Despite my quibbles, Ilike the poem.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2012-04-17 04:19
Jess
Glad to have you commenting on my work. Glad you like it. And judgement was pending more meaning from me. Your comment have helped me see what i was searching for in this one word to clarify it better. I always appreciated your quibbles
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
author commentweirdelf
Tue, 2012-04-17 04:18
I like the revisions!
brave.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2012-04-17 04:24
Jess
Glad you like. I think is sound better and ring the tone much smoother.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
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