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Quaint and Curious Shore
'Twas a curious night I sat thinking.
My eyes abstain from blinking.
The night I sat there thinking,
about the quaint and curious shore.
Waves eloquently crashing.
The water seems content with smashing.
The sun obliquely bashing
The daylight it then tore.
For that night I sat there pining.
While my other peers were dining
After their brilliance had stopped shining
While I was thinking about the quaint and curious shore.
The stars were brightly turning.
As the love in my heart was burning.
My emotions were all churning
at the always beautiful shore.
So that night I sat there thinking
The wine glasses on the table twinkling.
When suddenly I came across a winkling.
A fact about the quaint and curious shore.
It's excellence was dashing.
Like waves your love was crashing.
Against my heart it was bashing.
Your elegance I adore.
'Twas a curious night I sat thinking.
My eyes abstain from blinking.
The night I sat there thinking,
about the quaint and curious shore.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I haven't posted since December, and I was recently getting back into poetry. I was wondering how you guys think!
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-04-22 15:58
Oh eloquent wave, I ask you
Oh eloquent wave, I ask you how to see,
the light from under your deep canopy...
I have never heard of an eloquent wave, that amused me, as you can see.
I admire the way you have managed to make the rhyming exactly in each verse;
you really were inspired by that "quaint and curious shore" it casts a fairy tale like
atmosphere, but we are left not really knowing why it was quaint, or curious.
I am waiting for that bit.
Nordic cloud.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
PianoBoy
Sun, 2012-04-22 16:31
When I say "eloquent wave" I
When I say "eloquent wave" I meant that metaphorically. The deeper meaning of this poem is someone who is in love with somebody else. The waves are the other persons love being expressed with readiness. I'm sorry if the deeper meaning wasn't expressed clearly on that. I will work on it.
Thanks,
Pianoboy
author commentPianoBoy
Sun, 2012-04-22 16:34
One of my greatest
One of my greatest inspirations is E.A Poe's "The Raven", I really love that poem and I wanted to display love the way he did. Just as the raven said only nevermore hence displaying Poe's sorrow at the loss of Lenore.
author commentNordic cloud
Mon, 2012-04-23 08:19
I see, hear(!) what you were
I see, hear(!) what you were aiming at and admire the way you have made this poem, you use the same sound ending of ORE, and the many INGS, that poem is truly a sound poem isn't it, with the rhythm of the old masters bashing on through the whole, the tapping ...wow he was a master at that wasn't he.
Thank you for sending me to see his poem, sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own that we don't spend so much time with the established poets, this was fun.
Might come back, bye for now Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.