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Remembering Mom
Today I rose with thoughts of above
Remembering the person I really love
Today my thoughts move back in time
Remembering my Mom so true and fine
I wish she were here so I could say
I’m sorry rather than just think and pray
I now can clearly recount my early days
And how I should have had more praise
As a parent I can now see my family grow
And understand how my love should flow
My awakened thoughts cause me to care
To remember how I should be more fair
Happy Birthday is my hopeful wish for you
Thank you for your love that was so true
Happy Birthday
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2024-07-22 17:21
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Remembering Mom" is a heartfelt tribute to a mother figure. It effectively uses simple language and a consistent rhyme scheme to convey a sense of nostalgia and longing.
However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery and sensory details. Rather than telling the reader that the speaker's mother was "so true and fine," showing this through specific memories or anecdotes could make the poem more engaging and emotionally resonant. Similarly, the speaker's regret and desire to apologize could be more impactful if they were tied to a specific incident or pattern of behavior.
The poem's structure could also be refined for better flow. The inconsistent line lengths and meter can make the poem feel choppy and disjointed. Working towards a more consistent rhythm could help to enhance the poem's musicality and overall impact.
Finally, the poem's theme of regret and longing is clear, but it could be deepened and made more complex. For example, the speaker could explore their feelings of guilt in more depth, or delve into the ways in which their relationship with their mother has influenced their own parenting.
In summary, while the poem effectively conveys a sense of longing and regret, it could be strengthened through the use of more concrete imagery, a more consistent structure, and a deeper exploration of its themes.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
Mon, 2024-07-22 16:15
Awesome dedication
Always appreciate loving moms, and believe all moms loving, aren't they?
This is a special piece to a very special one even if she's not reading it.
Beautifully said.
Thank you for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Clentin
Mon, 2024-07-22 16:21
Thank you, just thoughts on
Thank you, just thoughts on this anniversary of my mother's birthday.
Thank you for reading my poems and comments. I appreciate it very much.
Lavender
Tue, 2024-07-23 12:46
Remembering Mom
Hello, Clentin,
A beautiful tribute full of devotion. It sounds like your day was full of lovely memories.
Thank you,
L
Clentin
Tue, 2024-07-23 12:48
Good thoughts, good memories,
Good thoughts, good memories, missing her very much. A help for me and my relations with my family.
I appreciate your reding my poems very much, your comments are welcome,
Thank you!