Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Saddening, Ever Saddening

Submitted by brittle light on Tue, 2016-05-24 15:08

memories bite, knuckle white,
plodding upward,
struggling
the insufferable trod
of deep dream life,
the dank of cold sweats.

'face me in the light'

pleading murmurs taunt,
from every dark recess,
a ceaseless chant;
feel me,
embrace me,
the pain,
the shame.

'I am never leaving'

zzz...but, I can't.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Tue, 2016-05-24 16:00

Esker's picture

and we are not famous icons like some burdened by being all
that and more..losing oneself in its hungry process
took a road trip which shattered my nerves..
like rainman...I had been footing it through the trails
like a good lifer volunteer wondering when my time
was up! marking off the years with every tour..
it was something!!!
then the road trip...had some intense moments
and very peaceful ones too
yanked about like play doh and squished
through the old knotholes
then plunked on a bus from a far away city
just brought a lot of the old ghosts back
more then happy to see me again..
Oh man!!

spent the whole month just coming
down from everything...
and awakening up the old set like
a radio dragged down from
the attic or garage..
see if it still played the old
music like the byrds sang
or no...american pie
don mclean
it plays allright
something new
with the old shadows

its cool
im living in the skin
feeling all the old jars
and starts...
supposed too

and grooving on the
street with all the
other sketchies as they
call em today or cats

good write!

we live it cause we
can and cause we did!!!!

thank U!

brittle light

Tue, 2016-05-24 22:14

brittle light's picture

paraphrasing a comedian, whose name I can't remember, "every memory that comes to mind, I look like an asshole.
That means I'm probably looking like an asshole right now!"

sometimes I think I file and store only the hauntingly unpleasant experiences...they seem so prevalent...but I know that's just another asshole statement!

Man!, life is strange...and ironically, amusing too

I appreciate your thoughts and observations....they are always interesting

Al

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2016-05-24 23:16

Esker's picture

volume capacitors
watching for its load to hit the rafters
and like Teslas machines it jumps
the fretful spark!

love your writing!
it digs!
and that says a lot
unpleasant is the sandpaper that
finds its round
in all the points
I thought I make
till smoothed the granduer of
its pause
makes sense the loss of
its tips and clause

thank U!

brittle light

Wed, 2016-06-01 03:49

brittle light's picture

Unpleasant is the sandpaper.....

and the lines that follow, is that yours?
I assume it is, and it is a great piece of writing,
Publish it (that's not an order, just a nudge)....with a little punctuation.

thanks,

Al

author comment

Geremia

Tue, 2016-05-31 10:30

Geremia's picture

shockingly powerful, shockingly true...poetry at its very best. this reached my soul. I seem to have lived this,

joe

brittle light

Wed, 2016-06-01 01:12

brittle light's picture

when one can relate to the content of a poem, the 'poetry' of the poem seems enhanced...I, too experience poetry this way. Content does matter to us in our appraisals.

So, thank you for your very generous appraisal.

sincerely,

Al

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.