I felt burnt out..wasted..numb..
I hit the beach but dont sit there..I go lean at the wharf to look at the waves...look at the mirages
at the islands....what is bothering me....check....how important is it going to be in five years..check...what are the positive things...check...

i had been pulled through a knothole...made by myself...if I wanted to be an island then I should
live as an island...but I am not an island...I do like others...their input creates poetry in me and
laughing or sharing a quiet time or listening to someones anger helps me...

i am a storm of feeling and emotion inside...looking about....helps me see that there is way more going on then my world of importance....but same times one cannot just let one get trampled underfoot for nothing then to be a doormat.... I remember the drawings I saw for sargasso and heard about it from the mythical days....was always fascinated by what kind of treasures one could find on the derelict ships....years later I did get too tour a train yard..near where my dad was
working...summer...he was extra gang foreman..we were loading or they were loading sand into dumper cars...air tanks and handles...dump sand to widen the railbed and a machine with a hydralic wing would knock the dirt smooth...filling up time i explored...they had a whole bunch
of old coachs and mail cars from different eras..there were little scrub trees..an old pit worked forever...some holes dug which filled with spring water..clear and cold and great for swimming..Inside the old railcars were tons of ol papers from the crews whom used them before..junk mostly but the cars were cool...refridgerator cars that the propane fans still
spinning....doors open though..seats from god knows when..comfortable and made of real material..wood.....it was great!!! the caboose we used was built in the twenties and swayed...the north was beautiful!