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Shining As Diamonds
Scattered pieces of glass
upon the ground
Sparkling like diamonds
As if looking at a starry night
Each conveying
a different angle of light
Just as human life might
If only we look deeply
Can we see the brilliance
Shining through so bright
We are as scattered glass
Each emanating our light
In the eyes of another’s sight
We are scattered upon the earth
Without knowing that we’re pieces
Of something larger, that is a whole
Neopoet has made me come to realize
That I have found that place
Which makes me feel part of the whole
Each writing in our own perspective
Shining in the light of poetry
For we are part of a family tree
Which we all call our home
A place to feel free
Known to all as Neopoet
Land of the free thinking poets
That I have been proud to say
Here is where I belong
Comments
China Blue
Sun, 2012-03-04 17:49
Eddie
I lov e the comparison you have made. Yes we are many faceted like a diamond. I enjoyed reading this piece and have nothing to add, correct or suggest
Chrys
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-03-04 19:08
Chrys,
old friend you are one of the people of my Neopoet family and I am happy to have you here. Thanks for the read and comment.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
wesley snow
Sun, 2012-03-04 21:50
Bloody touching mate.
And well structured. I thought you said you had trouble with meter. Not here anyway.
But... "shining" is spelled with one "n".
The Grammar Cop strikes again.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-03-04 22:03
caught again,
but I won't pay the fine drag me in kicking and screaming.
Thanks Wes, for the read and comment, of course the eagle eye.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
wesley snow
Mon, 2012-03-05 12:14
You're welcome, Eddie.
It's why they pay me the big bucks. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-03-05 12:29
Wes,
no need for that, you do what you do, it is needed around here. "can I help you to the bank on pay day"
(as he rubs his hands together, smiling like a sly cat)
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Nordic cloud
Mon, 2012-03-05 07:28
lovely thought that we are all part of the whole in poetry.
"Shining through so bright" do you need the so bright its slightly banal here, we already know about the diamond like quality.
"Without knowing that we’re pieces
Of something larger, that is a whole" ...these two lines don't quite work for me possibly only the rhythm possibly not.
"Neopoet has made me come to realize
That I have found that place
Which makes me feel part of the whole" ...the rhyming disappears and a prose-like quality emerges here.
It needs a bit of work for me Eduardo, but a good idea, lovely thought that we are all part of the whole in poetry.
YoursAnn
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-03-05 08:37
Ann,
Thank you for the read and the comment. if you re-read it there is really no rhyming. That it happen, it was not my intention to write in a Western classicc style, this is freeverse. What I did use was meter, can you tell which. that's the only way you should look at this, But then in keeping with the poem that is your perspective, maybe how you would write it. I am happy with the way it turned out. I thank you so much for taking the time to read it.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Lepadah
Mon, 2012-03-12 14:33
Comment
Finally found the time to check out some of your work. I really enjoyed this poem it reminded me of Quincy Troupe. I love the imagery . . . "glass, diamonds and a starry night." Are you familiar with comrade revolutionary Poet Louis Reyes Revira work? He recently transitioned just a week ago. I love his epic poem "Jazz and Jail."
Peace Lepadah
Lepadah
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-03-12 17:52
Lepadah,
i think I have a book by him some where, I just read so much that I forget. I'll have to go look in the storage in see if it's there. I am not to particular on epic poems. I like short lines and quick to the finish. I have read people in that political sphere like, Jose De diego and Julia Burgos. Which I have read as a child, because my Mama turned me on to them.
I will look for that poem "Jazz and Jail" and I will get back to you.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-03-12 17:54
Lepadah,
shit double post, I hate when that happens!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Nordic cloud
Thu, 2012-03-29 14:11
"Shining through so bright" I
"Shining through so bright" I still worry about this line perhaps without the so or so brightly.
I wrote a poem for another site-cutting out the words of them:-
Dancing ........ poets beside the lake of plenty water
each reflection a new poem spun into the light
twigs leaves and sonnets
floating heavens dark and bright
deep thoughts echoed from the depths below
the sky ever changing colour
its clouds with spinning sun and moon
all nature watching
as the flow of words enters
and exits the wide cradled tea-lake
to meditate a while
to continue out into the world
dancing through all landscapes
over stones and under bridges
beside reeds and flowers
birds and beasts
towns and villages
cities
into the sea of life
spreading words of joy
all facets glinting messages
that we may rejoice on the earth
this gaia
her bounteous love.
Its perhaps more simple than yours but I put if here for fun. Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.