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The Short-Lived Blossom Of Reverie
a queasy anxiety parallels
these distant eyes
this inside smile,
and blissful sigh.
a song,
a reminiscent whiff,
or a roving memory,
and I am captured.
taken aback
by what once was;
a someplace
beaming with style,
vibrance,
romance,
and joy.
where
I too am happy
while, simultaneously,
hoping
anxiously
to postpone
the fade
back
into
the
bleakness
of
now
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
jane210660
Sun, 2017-08-06 04:15
Fantastic
I not only read this, I was pulled down the page and couldn't leave it.
I absolutely love this - no crit.
Jx
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brittle light
Sun, 2017-08-06 17:11
I am so pleased by your
I am so pleased by your reaction
I feel good!
thank you
Al
Sparrow
Sun, 2017-08-06 04:43
Brittle light
Bathing in a dream, of sunbeams and moonlight of the mind.
A great write and I enjoyed the tranquillity we all know of reality but it was ignored..
Take care, yours Ian..
Thought that it was a ref to Paul Revere with the title but realised it was your dream and had "I" (me)in it, lol
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
brittle light
Sun, 2017-08-06 17:26
hi Ian
you caught my misspelling of Revere
He had a long ride through the short-lived blossoming of dreary New England
bathing in the dreamy moonlight
caught in a reverie of blissful freedom
from y'all over there
just teasing!
glad you enjoyed the poem
Al
Sparrow
Mon, 2017-08-07 14:10
Al
Thought you would likes a little word play, Keep writing as you are,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Eumolpus
Tue, 2017-08-08 22:25
very great read
I personally don't often prefer the "one word to a line" style of poetry, unless it creates the NECESSARY space between the words to a conclusion. It does that here and makes for a very good read. I particularly like the title, sets up the poem well.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
brittle light
Wed, 2017-08-09 21:05
I respect your abilities to
I respect your abilities to sense the strengths and/or weaknesses of a poem,
down to the nitty-gritty, stuff others glide over or cannot see.
So, when you give a positive critique like this, It is very satisfying
thank you
Al