Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
STORM'S FLOTSAM
Standing at that intersection
cardboard sign displays his plight
haggard face near screams dejection
he has no place to sleep tonight
Time was such a sight was rare
a big city kind of malady
now it seems they're everywhere
how could this have come to be?
Not all these guys can just be lazy
too many good men on the street
whose future prospects look so hazy
no wonder they all seem so beat
With garb betraying working men
tradesmen, truckers and all such
who wonder at what might have been
had bankers not wanted so much
And what of their families?
have they left for greener fields?
perhaps they're naught but memories
of when labor bore much greater yields
So here these proud men stand alone
flotsam of this new economy
for who's sin do they now atone?
each one could well be you or me
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Linda Moses
Fri, 2012-05-04 00:04
Scribbler
This is too pitiful, but true, this is well written and from the heart. I had been thinking of a poem on this very subject, after I witnessed something so sad, I cried while I watched. It bothered me for days.
Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
scribbler
Fri, 2012-05-04 07:25
hi Linda
Used to almost never see such around here but since this last depression it almost seems every major intersection has them. But you hear and read so much about "professional" panhandlers you don't know what to do. Was good to see you pop in for a visit............stan
author commentloved
Fri, 2012-05-04 02:55
Long time there has been no storming from you Stan, but such an
Long time there has been no storming from you
Stan,
but such an outcome of growing population
and
damning economy,
no one can blame,
you nor me
but those who produce a family
when they could afford none.
why should you or I feel blameworthy,
for all those who had
no common sense…
we till our own graves
and
none can say God was unkind to us,
for once I ask again,
where and why does
He hide from us.
No metaphors
outright truth
as all that happens …in such a manner…
is ‘cause of one’s youth,
well we all were once ourselves too… weren't you?
loved
scribbler
Fri, 2012-05-04 07:29
hi loved
I think it's more a matter of Us hiding from Him. I sometimes fear we may become one of those societies in which people have large families so there will be someone to support them in their old age.................stan
author commentloved
Fri, 2012-05-04 23:54
Disintegration of families
Disintegration of families
is basically a cause for concern
for those ousted owing to old age,
in a materialistic world ..
if you'd care for your old,
the State will be relieved
of immense burden
but
to my ideas..... no one is sold...... till a generation later .....
loved
Nordic cloud
Fri, 2012-05-04 10:20
Foams and froth and flotsam,
Foams and froth and flotsam,
you and Steven are truly in the water stan.
And now the streets are full of beggars,
Oslo is like a medieval city become.
Sad people alienated by their country,
in the case of this poem by their families,
churning like the garbage in the street corner
where the winds shake them from time to time,
they still stand proud and dream.
The whole philosophy of life, business and profit,
progress, what is progress, no more worth fighting for,
being able to make this short life we have good, is far better
than progressing,
and progressing where?
All profits should be minimal, and if there are any,
it should be put back into the industry,
or paid to the workers as a bonus.
No one needs more than he needs.
Good poem stan.
Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Fri, 2012-05-04 17:20
hello
I don't think making a profit in business is inherently evil. Being self employed myself I Know the effort it takes to actually produce a living. If you'll notice, most of the wealthy who did not inherit their wealth treat their employees well. It's good business in the long run. Many think people who have vast fortunes such as Bill Gates are being greedy. Yet he also has given away over half his wealth to charities. Yet there Are those few individuals still around who make Scroodge look like a softy lol. These who suck all the money out of their business without reinvesting usually live long enough to see their heirs squander away their money.............stan
author commentloved
Fri, 2012-05-04 12:34
With due respects and how will rich,become greed sick??
All profits should be minimal, and if there are any,
it should be put back into the industry,
or paid to the workers as a bonus.
No one needs more than he needs.
I wonder all docs... psyhcos mostly
will go down under and perish
99% diseases are psychosomatic..
and that's why guys perish
as docs all nourish ,
like the liars feed lawyers too.
how I wish we all knew,.....
loved
Linda Moses
Fri, 2012-05-04 20:04
Surely some compassion is due
Surely some compassion is due here. Stan is right, God does not hide from us, some just don't bother to go look for Him.
Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
scribbler
Fri, 2012-05-04 23:26
hi
whatever a person considers god to be and even if they don't believe in god there's still that something within almost everybody which tells them right from wrong. It's when one stops listening to this inner voice that they've"lost" god.
PS what doesn't kill you didn't try hard enough lol .......sorry couldn't help myself ...........stan
author commentLinda Moses
Fri, 2012-05-04 23:48
Stan
Now that's funny ( but not at the time it was trying)
Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle