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The Superior Moment (Prose Revision)
I tend to think in past and future.
My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment.
The superior moment is happening now.
The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost
My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur,
in the omnipotent future.
I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it,
without further thoughts of what was or will be.
That for me is true freedom.
What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later.
The thoughts of many voices debating in one space,
seem to falter on solid ground.
The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience,
with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning.
What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness.
The silence in my head is the only thing of true value,
in this Superior Moment which I am living,
NOW!
Comments
weirdelf
Sat, 2012-05-19 01:27
If you want to call it prose
it really would make more sense to format it as prose.
Let's see that then I'll read it.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-05-20 15:52
Jess,
Agreed!
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
believe
Sat, 2012-05-19 07:59
good but
I Like the idea,
but the first stanza and the second one had me confused, as they seemed to conflict meaning,
but then I understand what was intended, by the word "Superior" on the 2nd stanz-
So i think I got it,
This could have been a little clearer for me,
but otherwise
yeh great!
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-05-20 15:53
Clarity
reintroduced.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
scribbler
Sat, 2012-05-19 13:53
hi
The problem of writing about "now" is that as soon as it's typed it's gone lol. I think you might retitle this as poetic prose or free verse as prose is written with punctuation and in the same manner as this comment if I'm not mistaken................stan
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2012-05-20 15:54
Stan,
You are not, at that just passed. LOL
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
weirdelf
Tue, 2012-05-22 01:26
This is what prose looks like
I tend to think in past and future. My thoughts travel beyond the realm of this moment. The superior moment is happening now. The next moment is still in question, the past one is lost.
My energy is wasted on what has happened and what will occur, in the omnipotent future. I can seize the now by living, loving and experience it, without further thoughts of what was or will be.
That for me is true freedom. What I will learn is now; it will then pass and be used later. The thoughts of many voices debating in one space, seem to falter on solid ground.
The outer collective intrudes on the inner collective conscience, with materialistic thoughts which clog the reasoning. What I need is small and of no value to the outer consciousness. The silence in my head is the only thing of true value, in this Superior Moment which I am living, NOW!
Yes it is prose, Eddie, and good interesting prose. No way of breaking into lines really changes that.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Eduardo Cruz
Tue, 2012-05-22 11:57
Jess,
Thanks for the return visit, I hear you. I just thought to break into the thought of each paragraphs for continuity.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
weirdelf
Tue, 2012-05-22 12:01
to me, this was an expression of your philosophies, my friend
and well written.
Now write some poetry.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Eduardo Cruz
Tue, 2012-05-22 16:40
Jess,
It absolutly is just that.
I am not looking for followers, I am just voicing my thoughts on the simplicity of it. I try to avoid stress, but never a good logic arguement.
thanks again Bud.
Eddie
...
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE