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Thank you, Laughter...

Submitted by Geezer on Sat, 2024-07-20 10:51

And I thank you for Billy Collins,
George Carlin, and the Archie Bunkers of the world.
The laughter of our inner-most children
making snide jokes without rancor.

Too long have we been sleeping,
and not yet awoken
to the truth of loud and hilarious laughter,
hidden behind hands of protest.

What freedom, to imagine the joke on us,
letting no one in or out,
holding the rest of the world hostage,
with words of wisdom and grins.

I for one, have the vision to see,
what comes of losing humor,
making the path harder to see
without the light of mirth.

So, shine up your jokes,
bandy about the smirks of truth,
with the insight of sticking together,
while I polish my delivery.

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neopoet

Sat, 2024-07-20 16:51

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Thank you, Laughter..." demonstrates a strong understanding of the importance of humor and laughter in life. The references to Billy Collins, George Carlin, and Archie Bunker provide a cultural context that many readers will identify with, grounding the poem in a shared experience. The use of humor as a tool for social commentary and personal insight is a theme that resonates throughout the poem.

However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further refinement. For instance, the phrase "truth of halarious and loud laughter" seems to be a bit awkward. The word "halarious" is presumably a typo for "hilarious," but even with this correction, the phrase might be more effective if it were restructured for clarity.

In the line "letting no one in or out," it's unclear what is being referred to. Is it the joke, the laughter, or something else? Providing more context or clarification could enhance the reader's understanding.

The poem's conclusion, "So, shine up your jokes, bandy about the smirks of truth and insight of sticking together, while I polish my delivery," is a strong call to action. However, the phrase "insight of sticking together" could be more effectively phrased to clearly convey its meaning.

In terms of structure, the poem maintains a consistent free verse format, but the rhythm and flow could be improved with more attention to line breaks and punctuation. For example, the line "What freedom to imagine the joke on us," could be restructured to "What freedom, to imagine the joke on us," to enhance the rhythm.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates its theme of the importance of humor, but could benefit from further refinement in terms of clarity, structure, and rhythm.

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Leslie

Sat, 2024-07-20 12:04

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I think I understand what you're saying, but not completely. your vocabulary is better than mine. If you could make things more
lucid, explain it just a bit more. It would help make it clearer. What a great idea for a poem!

All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!

Triskelion

Sat, 2024-07-20 12:04

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...that can't a take a little ribbing who will be the most miserable, I like to say.

Thomas

.
.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Rula

Sat, 2024-07-20 12:42

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This wasn't an easy read. It took more than once to be digested. As I get it, I liked the clever mix of the sense of humor and yet with the use of profound language such as the "snide jokes without rancour" and some other expressions.
Humor Indeed has an important role.
Good work sir!

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Lavender

Sat, 2024-07-20 23:55

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Hello, Geezer,
So glad to see a mention of Billy Collins, here! It's good to laugh - and it starts with laughing at ourselves. It's a serious world out there...
Thank you!
L

Geezer

Sun, 2024-07-21 22:56

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Billy Collins for the look at humor in everyday life. The others that I named, were known for their attitudes, and making jokes that were sarcastic takes on racism and social status. Yes, laughing at ourselves, and having a moral at the end of each show.
~ Geez.
.

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kowque

Fri, 2024-07-26 12:30

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The poem took many different emotional directions

The references were hard to follow, had to Google

Very good piece. Probably too good for the likes of me.

Thank you!

Koki

Geezer

Fri, 2024-07-26 22:12

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would be hard for someone not of this country to follow. Too good for the likes of you? Never! You just don't have the background, nothing to be ashamed of, for sure. The basic of the poem is that we have lost the ability to laugh at ourselves.
Arcie Bunker and George Carlin, [both deceased], were notable for their sarcasm and Archie Bunker [Carrol O'Conner] was the main character of a T.V. series and played a bigot who really was a nice guy. At the end of each program, he usually had something profound to say, and made amends to the people he insulted. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-07-26 12:46

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When we lose humor, we lose much... Laughter is very important to any life. It is funny you mentioned Archie Bunker, as we have the whole "All In The Family" series and are watching it in the evenings! I think Caroll O'Connor was excellent at his craft!

*hugs, Cat

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Geezer

Fri, 2024-07-26 22:14

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he most certainly was very good at his craft. Thank you for your comments, which I always read and cherish. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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