Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Unspoken
I found a letter on the ground,
most precious note I ever found.
And when I read its lovely theme,
no other lovely thought could seem
to touch the world as this fine note
which finely penned what someone wrote
to his lost love, his one and only
soulmate, alone, lost and lonely.
Two lovers, separate and denied
a lovers' love, husband and bride
who claimed to pledge til death do part,
yet, no claim prospered, no pledge of heart
came to be, on way to church and steeple
in front of church and church bound people
she lost her life, a tragic moment,
a lifeless, tragic, denied bestowment.
And when the crowds had disappeared
as crowds do when stunned crowds are cleared,
there lay this letter from one, now broken -
his letter, his heart, his vows unspoken.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Kristen H.
Mon, 2024-06-24 21:00
Oh my...
How beautiful... this was a lovely read! Well done!
Lavender
Wed, 2024-06-26 10:29
Hello, Kristen,
Thank you for your very kind words!
L
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2024-06-25 15:02
Yes...
it rolls off the tongue easily and the story is romantic, yet tragic. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Wed, 2024-06-26 10:33
Hello, Geezer,
I recall a true story similar to this in the past - a bride (or perhaps it was the groom?) tragically dying on her way to her own wedding. Not sure why it came to mind, but it surfaced in a poem.
Thank you for reading!
L
author commentRula
Wed, 2024-06-26 11:29
Hello dear Lavender
A poignant writing that captures the a lost love and the enduring power of the unspoken vows.
As a suggestion, I thought you might like to capitalize the beginning of each line .
I also find the repition of the word lovely a bit unnecessary. May be replacing one with heartfelt?
Just suggestion as you know that you are absolutely free to take or leave.
I have already enjoyed it
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Lavender
Wed, 2024-06-26 19:07
Hello, Rula,
I tried to use a word or two from the first line in each couplet also in the second line. It may be a bit too much, though. I will think over your wonderful suggestions!
Thank you so much!
Lx
author commentLeslie
Wed, 2024-06-26 21:30
L
Very sad and very well written. Lovely in it's misery. I enjoyed this as usual!
All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!
Lavender
Thu, 2024-06-27 07:06
Hello, Leslie,
Not certain where this one came from, but it surfaced, just the same.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L
author commentClentin
Tue, 2024-07-02 15:39
Excellent poem, really
Excellent poem, really reflecting lost love, tragic circumstances that too often exist
Loved your poem
Clentin
Tue, 2024-07-02 15:39
Excellent poem, really
Excellent poem, really reflecting lost love, tragic circumstances that too often exist
Loved your poem
Lavender
Wed, 2024-07-03 12:55
Hello, Clentin,
It seems I've read of this scenario several times - possibly that is where the idea came from. It sort of spread itself out in the shape of this poem.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate your time!
L
author commentLavender
Sun, 2024-07-07 13:50
Hello, Mark,
I believe this came together from recalling a similar sad scenario I read about in the past.
Thank you so much for reading!
L
author commentRuby Lord
Fri, 2024-07-12 05:29
This was really good, it
This was really good, it reminded me of one of those songs that have a wonderful joyous tune but really sad lyrics. A testament to you talents in writing about the contradictions of life and death. Well done, Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lavender
Fri, 2024-07-12 09:54
Hi, Ruby,
Not certain where this one came from - I seemed to recall the heartbreaking scenario and it took shape. Thank you for reading and commenting. So good to see you again!
L
author commentWords Ablaze
Wed, 2024-07-17 16:28
Chilling. Death didn't even
Chilling. Death didn't even give them a chance to vow it would do them apart.
Lavender
Wed, 2024-07-17 21:01
Hello!
Yes... I seem to recall a real situation similar to this.
Thank you for reading! I'm grateful for your comments.
L
author comment