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The Visitor

You visit for a moment,
Accept a breath of hospitality,
Then dash away again.
You share your company briefly.

But in that time, oh,
The magic you bring.
From tiny eggs to instars
To gloriously patterned wing.

I watched you hatch and crawl,
Grow, shed and wriggle.
You change your dress. Your
New look makes me giggle.

You give me joy and delight
With your aerial ballet.
My royal friend, magician,
Harlequin at play,

Dear monarch, share your gift
Of grand, exuberant joy
With all. Give us eyes to
See, and feelings to employ.

You set an example
Of living in the moment.
Let us live so our days
Are likewise spent.

Dash on, my friend,
Your destiny calls.
Send your children my way
When the milkweed grows tall.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Visitor" is a vivid narrative that uses descriptive language and imagery to create a sense of connection between the speaker and the subject, which appears to be a butterfly. The use of words like "instars," "aerial ballet," and "milkweed" suggest a deep understanding of the life cycle and behavior of butterflies.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of meter and rhyme. While the poem does employ a rhyming scheme in some stanzas, this is not consistently applied throughout the piece. This inconsistency can disrupt the flow of the poem and distract the reader.

Moreover, the poem's tone shifts between formal and informal language. For instance, phrases such as "Your new look makes me giggle," and "Dash on, my friend," are casual and conversational, while "Dear monarch, share your gift of grand, exuberant joy," is more formal and grandiose. A more consistent tone could help to create a more cohesive narrative voice.

Lastly, the poem's theme of living in the moment and appreciating the beauty of nature is clear, but it could be made more impactful by using more specific and concrete imagery. For example, instead of saying "You give me joy and delight with your aerial ballet," the poem could describe a specific moment or action that encapsulates this joy and delight.

In conclusion, while the poem successfully creates a vivid and engaging narrative, it could be improved by maintaining a consistent use of meter and rhyme, establishing a consistent tone, and using more specific and concrete imagery.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

First of all, welcome to Neopoet! I hope you and your poems will find a home here on this site. I enjoyed this piece very much. Could yo tell me what the word: (Instars) means?
(From tiny eggs to instars) I have never heard it before. My favorite lines of your poem are:

Dear monarch, share your gift
Of grand, exuberant joy
With all. Give us eyes to
See, and feelings to employ.

I look forward to reading ore of your poetry.

*always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks for your kind words, Cat. I'm happy to be here.

"Instars" are the various stages the butterfly goes through collectively. Much more poetic than listing eggs, caterpillars, etc. individually, don't you agree?

Blessings,
Mary Beth

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Yes I do agree ;)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I appreciate your *hugs. The world needs more hugs!

Blessings,
Mary Beth

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Dictionary
Data from Oxford Languages
Enter a word
Look it up
in·star
[ˈinˌstär]
noun
instars (plural noun)
a phase between two periods of molting in the development of an insect larva or other invertebrate animal.
Awesome! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I tried to look it up in my on-line dictionary and could not find it. What are you using, if you do not mind me asking?

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

and ran into the Oxford dictionary I do believe. Yes, that is where I got it. If you Google anything, you will get various sources and that is the one I picked.
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

And a warm welcome to Neopoet.
What a beautiful tribute to the monarch butterfly! Your words capture the ephemeral beauty and transformative nature of these majestic creatures so eloquently. It's a lovely reminder to appreciate the fleeting moments of joy and wonder that nature brings into our lives.
I just found the word "children in

"Send your children my way"
a bit odd, and thought "offspring ' would fit there more especially when speaking to the monarch butterfly.
Just a suggestion of course . Take it or leave it. It's your poem.
Thank you for sharing!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Nice to meet you. I appreciate you taking time to comment and suggest. The choice between the two terms was difficult. In the end, I went with children as a more casual term because I was afraid I was getting stuffy, LOL. Sometimes I can get quite lofty and I try to tone myself down.

Blessings,
Mary Beth

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Greetings, Mary Beth,
Welcome to Neopoet! I agree - a beautiful tribute. You've captured the miracle of such a delicate, yet incredible creature!
Thank you, and I am eager to read more of your work!
Lavender

Nice to meet you, Lavender.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

I love it. Appreciate the feedback.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

I got it having taken entomology in college. That was beautiful!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

Entomology was one of those subjects I always wished I had time to study, but could never quite find a time where it fit. I've had to settle for being a "backyard aficionado," as a real naturalist once labeled me.

Thank you for taking time to comment. I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment

Welcome to the asylum lol. Enjoyed your poem and look forward to more

I appreciate you taking time to comment.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

author comment
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