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Would It Be So Wrong
Would it be so wrong
for one to sell a soul
to get two wishes
they had wished for all their life
Is it so wrong to
want all that peace and love can bring
A life of poverty,abuse and disdain
the shreds of lies caught in the spiders web
like confetti spread throughout
So they ask again
would it be so wrong
would it be so wrong
would it be
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I'm Back lol
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Texas Jim Reyna
Tue, 2022-07-19 22:52
Would It Be So Wrong?
It's free verse for sure. The only conclusion the reader can arrive at is; "No, it wouldn't be so wrong"...to grab some happiness and love regardless of the cost.
Jim
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2022-07-20 08:22
Jim
Thank you so much for reading and commenting
Chrys
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author commentGeezer
Wed, 2022-07-20 00:49
I keep seeing...
confetti wiggling in a spider's web! I get the vision of a party and the spider was having a good time. Says; "I'll clean up tomorrow, it's late and I'm tired." LoL~ Geez.
.
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c lynn brooks
Wed, 2022-07-20 08:24
gee
Hi and thanks sorry for the image lol
Chrys
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author commentGeezer
Wed, 2022-07-20 09:15
Sorry...
didn't mean to be so flip about a subject that is obviously a heartache. I think we have all sold our souls at one time or another. Sometimes, I put my mouth in gear, before pushing in the clutch! Maybe it tugged too hard at the strings attached to my heart. In that case, I think you managed to put the reader in your shoes. Great job! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Sat, 2022-07-23 21:57
Gee
No problems
Chrys
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author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-20 06:02
to sell one's soul...
it would be wrong to sell the only thing that we are born with to grow old and take with us into the void. that is my opinion.
love ya, Cat & eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2022-07-20 08:26
cat
thanks much for the read
Chrys
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author commentRosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-07-20 06:16
Syntax error
Would it be so wrong
for one to sell a soul
to get two wishes
they had wished for all their life
Is it so wrong to want
all that peace and love can bring
A life of poverty, abuse and disdain
the shreds of lies caught in the spiders web
like confetti spread throughout
So they ask again
would it be so wrong
would it be so wrong
would it be
I added a space which was a typographical error and I moved “want” up a line in the second stanza. Those were my only suggestions to a beautiful poem. Please take my suggestions gently.
Nice job,
Tim
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2022-07-20 08:29
Tim
Thank you for the corrections and your comments they are appreciated
Chrys
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