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It's My Memory...
The midnight oil lights my night
It tries to show the way
But my eyes grow dim and my sight
Doesn't see like yesterday
Oh woe is me, I wish for strength
Like I had in youth
The nights grow longer in their length
The days more short on truth
The lies we tell unto ourselves
Ever to keep us calm
Rely on memories from the shelves
Applied to our souls as balm
Different memories I have got
Of those friends so long ago
But I'm alive and they are not
They can't say it isn't so
So take each tale with some salt
A grain or two is fine
Really man, it was his fault
It certainly wasn't mine
Now, when I tell you tales of yore
It will be of folk gone by
Stories yeah; I've got more
And I'll tell them 'till I die
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Changed a few lines.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2020-04-25 08:30
Lovely read Gee
having gathered most of good poetry ingredients...
I'd choose the stanza with "Different memories...." if I have to choose my favorite.
Just stumbled with the flow of the stanza before the last... Who is that you blame am not sure.
Other than that, nothing but lots of appreciation
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Geezer
Sat, 2020-04-25 09:37
It was...
to show the old adage of taking a tale with a grain of salt. Have you never heard it? "You can take this with a grain of salt."
Implying that there may be a difference of opinion. ~ Geezer.
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Rula
Sat, 2020-04-25 15:17
Thank you
For the clarification. Never used the expression though surely have heard of it.
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Geezer
Sat, 2020-04-25 09:41
Thank you...
Glad you like it. In my circles, I'm known for having a story for every occasion. I love to entertain and as long as I can still talk, I guess I will be telling tales.
~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Sat, 2020-04-25 10:46
Guy
what if you used will not keep up instead of can't just a suggestion
ery nice writing here
Chrys
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Geezer
Sun, 2020-04-26 22:35
Changed...
the line to read better. Thanks. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Sun, 2020-04-26 22:32
Thanks...
for catching that Jerry. Fixed!
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Gracy
Mon, 2020-04-27 09:46
Love it, Gee, only one or two
Love it, Gee, only one or two tweaks, I think. I agree with Jerry about "of those days long ago". I wish I could listen to your tales. Will there be no story section here?
Great rhyming and a perfect subject. We all need storytelling these days.
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Geezer
Mon, 2020-04-27 16:07
Most of my tales...
are told in rhyme. There are a few little tales telling stories about things that are basically true. The story of "What If The Rabbit Is Ugly; the one story that I have posted here, is pretty much how I remember it. Other true stories written in rhyme are: Summer of Ten, Mrs. Moore Gave More and Steve McQueen. Hope you enjoy whatever you choose to read. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.