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Dark Knight,Dark Night
Into the night you will ride
the moon overhead your only guide
the wind whips at your face
the evil one at your heel
he leads you to a place
where no one needs to feel
Wearing the darkness as your cloak
no promise made,no promise broke
ah but such dreamed filled eyes they spoke
They tell of you dark knight and where you were led
on unanswered questions
no light was shed
only the ravages of a hunger left unfed
Then somewhere in the distance you hear a sound
echoes abound,they surge and pound
rivulets are forming from the fears
too soon,too soon you realize they are tears
It is still gaining ground
you can still hear the sound
too soon,too soon it is upon you
giving one a start
oh why must you try to outrun your heart
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2020-05-04 09:52
Wow! It sounds like...
you really have a handle on Killer! I recognized his story right away, you really got him cold. I like the uneven tempo, it just makes the story seem more ragged and powerful. Your rhyming is faultless and I only have one crit. and that is the typo that occurs in the last line of the second stanza; you are missing the[ o ]in spoke. No matter if this is not really about Killer, this is really a good profile of a serial-killer. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-05-11 07:02
Gee
Amazing! If you knew who this was written for
He is a very dear friend that will not admit his love for another(not me)
interesting how people read and relate different things in a poem. But that is exactly what I am looking for to not spoon feed
why I write as I do. Interpretation is in the eyes of the beholder may I say
oh I caught the error and fixed it
Chrys
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Geezer
Tue, 2020-05-05 09:57
Well...
Killer's ego sometimes gets the best of him. I guess he thinks everything is about him. LoL
~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.