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CBT over BPD2
Uh oh...
Life's good,
mood is up
so I should
be careful.
Great idea!
do it now!
got to somehow
yes, that's it
and that and that and that
[stop, breathe]
yes but
I could
I should
can't wait
I can't I will until
and then and then and then
[stop, breathe, think]
shut up don't get in my fucking way
it's my day my hour my minute
my fucking second!
now now now
I can and must and that too
fuck with me I'll fuck with you
[stop, breathe, think-
it can happen
just later]
nonono
nownownow...
[sighs]
Still, in a white bowl
on a glasstop table
float frangipanis
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
CBT = Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. BPD2 = BiPolar Disorder type 2. Although at times I think of it as BiPolar Enhancement
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-01-25 05:54
you've hit the nail on the head with one problem here
that last stanza is supposed to be a haiku.
I'm not sure about our wording yet. I want a picture, not an action.
Thanks oh staunch insightful one.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-01-25 18:00
many thanks lonnie,
and great to see you again mate,
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
magics02
Wed, 2011-01-26 20:52
I know you felt better
I hear you on this one. Sometimes our frustations can send us sailing or back flipping crazy. I like the picture of the bowl of frangipangis. That image is good and the descriptive writing is spot on. I myself have ventured some in creative writing and learning a lot. I love poetry but I wanted to get a knack for essay writing and freelance writing. Maybe soon I will post a true story I did just recently. Do we still have that feature in here and when will we get to our chatting sessions. I looked forward to that on Saturday nite with Geezs and company. Let me know when it goes live again. Cheers on getting your feelings out and that is what writing is all about the good and the bad. We should never pull our hair out when it comes to our expressive writings. You did just that here.
You know Valentines Day is almost here and I want to hear or read your love poem. lol
Ciao for now Elf
xoxox
weirdelf
Wed, 2011-01-26 23:16
love poem!?!?!?!?
erk!
[the elf develops a nasty little allergic rash]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-01-27 15:30
Admit it! under that mean
Admit it! under that mean little Rumplestiltskin is the rash skin of a weirdelf, under that beats the heart of Jess, a man for all seasons, all mood disorders and I wouldn't change a hair on his chiney chin chin.
low bow to the haiku maker, no OCD he.
~A
weirdelf
Thu, 2011-01-27 22:14
[bows low in return]
to the goddess of infinite compassion, insight and naughty bits.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-01-27 23:14
Yah
Maniacal God-complex I-can-do-absolutely-anything upswing (pause) in instantaneous action ramping up into anger...
....and the stillness needed for life to have any depth of normalcy to it.
Jesus I know THAT feeling so well, it runs in the family.
Excellent poetry, and it good to see you back.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-01-28 10:13
ta mate,
in sharing we are not alone and perhaps a little more understood.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
themoonman
Fri, 2011-01-28 03:37
Elf ...
This does deliver the moody swing ...
the only thing that bothered me was one
line, and no matter how many times I read
it, I stumble.
"fuck with me and I'll fuck up you" - is this
how you would say it, if it is, it's just me, but
I think I'd say it like
"fuck with me and I'll fuck you up" - or -
"fuck with me and I'll fuck with you" ...
either way, I've enjoyed it each time I've read it.
Richard
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-01-28 10:15
guilty as charged- stretching for rhyme
but
"fuck with me and I'll fuck with you"
works.
Making the change now,
thanks mate.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-01-28 19:27
Well spotted, thanks Xena
Well spotted, thanks Xena
change made.
I have an agenda with this poem, to raise awareness of BPD. See Jim's comment? Others with BPD I have shown it to have been stunned by the accuracy of the description. I'm pretty sure you've never taken acid have you? I seem to remember a... discussion we had about an anti drug poem you wrote some time ago. I still maintain that one should write about what one knows.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-01-29 09:12
no worries
sorry if my reply seemed a little sharp
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-01-29 06:34
? the suggestions were in brackets
or did you mean you have no suggestions?
Whatever, thanks, my friend.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geezer
Wed, 2011-02-16 00:56
I relate to this...
in a way I am not sure that was meant, but what the hell? I am a prograstinator, of epic proportions. It's a wonder I ever get anything done. I realise that my mind races from one thing to another so fast, that I have trouble focusing. I was however able to focus long enough, to come up with a possible Haiku for your ending.
How about : The glasstop table
floats a white bowl
staring frangipanis
Great feel to this one, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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IRiz
Sat, 2018-03-31 22:22
Frangipani! What a brilliant
Frangipani! What a brilliant ending.
I love the poem.
IRiz