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Come to me
Come to me and take a chance,
Throw caution in the wind.
Test your luck, don’t hesitate,
She who dares can only win.
Jump off a cliff so high and steep,
Come, choose risk to take.
Dive into a sea so deep,
You won’t melt, you’re no snowflake.
Come, forget all fear and doubt,
I’ll show you what it’s all about,
A new world of sensation.
Put on the parachute and leap,
Pray the lord your soul to keep,
Press pause on hesitation.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2022-06-07 17:22
To get...
one thing out of the way: I see a typo in the third line-second stanza. " Dive into a se[a] so deep. I especially like the last stanza.
"Put on the parachute and leap
.Pray the Lord your soul to keep
.Press pause on hesitation"
A really nice turn of phrase and play on words. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jack W. Stanley
Wed, 2022-06-08 16:36
Hi Geezer,
Thanks for pointing out the typo. I have reread the poem numerous times and repeatedly failed to notice it.
Again, thanks for the encouragement.
Cheers
Jack
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-08 06:27
dear Jack,
I too am taken with the last stanza. very deep!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jack W. Stanley
Wed, 2022-06-08 16:38
Hi Cat,
Thank you for more kind words.
Honestly this bit was almost completely changed as it somehow did not sound just right to me. Now I am glad I stopped looking for alternatives :-)
Jack
One
Thu, 2022-06-09 03:18
Jack
I have written for over 30 years, the times I've re-read & re-written a stanza only to be told later when receiving a critique that it now doesn't work happens too often.
Glad you didn't fall into my trap & change anything too much. It reads awesomely & I have learnt to wait for other poets comments before embarking on a major change. Nine times out of ten the original words were fine, just a tweak occasionally.
Enjoyed the poem.
regards
One.
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Jack W. Stanley
Fri, 2022-06-10 19:12
One,
Thank you very much for the support. I am happy that you enjoyed it.
Regards,
Jack
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-06-10 23:49
Hello Jack!
I can figure out a master or instructor in the poem giving helpful guide lines to take risk in life.
I liked the poem. Very instructive!
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Jack W. Stanley
Sat, 2022-06-11 18:12
Hello Onyinyechi
This was intended as an invitation to love, but I very much like your take on it.
Thanks!
Cheers,
Jack
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-06-12 06:42
dear Jack,
dear Jack,
I extend my hand to you in wishing you many more poems like this one (I know you have them in you, just waiting to surface) and offering my congratulations!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jack W. Stanley
Sun, 2022-06-12 18:28
Dear Cat,
I cannot thank you enough for your support since my first poem here. I will try not to dissapoint you with any of my future work.
Hugs,
Jack
Geezer
Sun, 2022-06-12 08:03
Congratulations...
for your win! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jack W. Stanley
Sun, 2022-06-12 18:30
Hi Geezer,
This really took me by surprise :-)
Thank you very much for your constant support.
Cheers,
Jack
Jackweb
Sun, 2022-06-12 22:16
Congratulations Jack!
More wins ahead.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Jack W. Stanley
Thu, 2023-08-24 18:47
Dear Jackweb,
I browsed back to this one and noticed a comment I did not respond to. I apologize for that.
Thank you for the support.
(Yesterday I finally got my hands on a copy of the anthology. Oh, happiness! :-) )