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There is a monster in my house and I am helpless
Motley, furry,
sprawled across my bed.
Ten black eyes rise up
and stare inside my head.
Eighty razor claws,
five gaping jaws.
A heat seeking,
flesh eating
monster of chaos?
Yes,
kittens.
Editing stage:
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Comments
eightmenout
Wed, 2013-07-24 23:36
Welcome back
Glad to see you are writing again.
Scott
Scott
weirdelf
Wed, 2013-07-24 23:41
ta
Scott
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Wed, 2013-07-24 23:51
I like this! Smooth cadence
I like this! Smooth cadence and rhyme easy on the eyes and ears,,,,
Welcome home.
Joe
Geezer
Thu, 2013-07-25 00:48
I pictured...
spiders and assorted monsters! When I found it to be kittens, I was amused, and then thought about the kittens I have had. I can just see you mobbed by five kittens! Funny, to say the least! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
weirdelf
Thu, 2013-07-25 01:11
thanks Joe and Gee
It was fun to write, inspired by the chilly way kittens stare at you, the mayhem they create in the house and several gashes incurred whilst playing with them.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Ian.T
Thu, 2013-07-25 04:22
Jess
A good fun write, good to see you here.
Hope we can get on with some serious stuff again ??
Maybe not, I forgot I is writing dark stuff of late and need a couple of fingers for Digit,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
lonlyhrtsclub13
Thu, 2013-07-25 08:37
Being someone
who has much experience with kittens/cats, all you stated is true. They are like tiny asshole ninjas running through your house trying to trip you up, destroying things, shredding your hands, arms and feet on a whim...yet they are the best friends I ever had. They do stare very strangely at you when you pass by, gives you the creepy feeling you are being watched...good write :)
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
weirdelf
Thu, 2013-07-25 10:32
Ta Ian and Carrie
It's a start.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Thu, 2013-07-25 13:00
Hi Jess
Well it could be worse , it could be other people's spoiled children lol............stan
weirdelf
Thu, 2013-07-25 21:25
Give me
a five mouthed, ten eyed, eighty clawed monster over spoiled rugrats any day!
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Thu, 2013-07-25 13:46
My Pal Ian said
you will soon take over
and improve Neo further
missed you so much
you just can't imagine ever
none to kick me inpoetic love as
you do forever
well come Jess
loved
weirdelf
Thu, 2013-07-25 21:25
sounds ominous
thanks loved
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Thu, 2013-07-25 21:43
ominous thereby
implying???
loved
weirdelf
Thu, 2013-07-25 23:23
I was referring to
"you will soon take over
and improve Neo further"
I am standing for re-election but not elected yet!
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Fri, 2013-07-26 10:50
and you
will be
loved
Ian.T
Sat, 2013-07-27 11:00
Loved
Did you see what you said to Jess "that he would be loved "?? lol.
Have a great day young Bard, cant wait to see who is elected..
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Race_9togo
Fri, 2013-07-26 01:54
You made me smile
Good to see you, its been awhile.
I love the alien feel you give this, and the shortening lines to the final reveal.
But Jess...
...it could have been PUPPIES, man.
LOL
excellent
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
weirdelf
Fri, 2013-07-26 07:17
Good to see you too, man
No way! Puppies may be chaos monsters too, but not the talons and un-nerving stare.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
ANC1996
Fri, 2013-07-26 02:15
Being cat obsessed, this made
Being cat obsessed, this made me smile so much. A real day brightener. I thought It was about spiders at first, kittens had me giggling like crazy. Sounds about like my cats (:
hugs,
Adrianna
weirdelf
Fri, 2013-07-26 07:19
Cat people of the world unite!
Have you noticed if you mention cats in chat most of the blokes, especially those from the southern states who have copped a bit of sun on the back of their necks, go feral and start chasing their tails?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lonlyhrtsclub13
Fri, 2013-07-26 10:45
i am convinced
i should have been the crazy cat lady...all though I am down to my last furbaby at the moment.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 07:49
I'm not a big fan
of any of the pets but I like this piece.
You're coming with a good mood,hopefully :)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
wesley snow
Fri, 2013-07-26 10:27
Cool.
There are few things more terrifying.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Esker
Fri, 2013-07-26 12:44
good solid poetry
Our Milo is a snob and rightly so.....
his pals of skunks and racoons
favour me and leave me alone
when I mistake him for their comradeship
with bad eyes at night to the dustbin...
they wadde off like him indifferent
neither hissing nor spraying me...
a good write bard! Thank You!
mand
Sat, 2013-07-27 04:42
Hi Weirdelf
I love the fun of this poem.
They really do sound like monsters - you have captured the essence of the wild side of cats. I love the way you have described them - and the contrast at the end.
Great fun! and it flowed soo well.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
weirdelf
Sat, 2013-07-27 06:19
Ta Wesley, Steven and Mand
Great to see you back, Mand. I'll check out your new work.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Sat, 2013-07-27 08:00
am I
Intentionally left!:)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
weirdelf
Sat, 2013-07-27 10:33
No, it was my oversight
apologies, thanks and yes, coming from a good place.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
wesley snow
Sat, 2013-07-27 14:04
Why do cats choose people?
We have a new stray that I have named Albatross because he's always hanging around my neck.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sat, 2013-07-27 17:46
cats
Are strange little creatures. I taught my Samantha how to behave like a baby....she would even wrap around my neck. My mom would call her my fur collar. My Mustard...rest his soul...would sit near you.never on you...moody little creature....but they were my best friends
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"